Thoughts at T Minus 24 Hours
In Defense of Shirking Responsibility
My fellow Kind. We share this hump of rock swirling about the Sun together, and we are truly becoming a connected race. Recent events in Egypt and the Middle East have shown the power of that connectedness, where a war costs merely thousands of lives, not millions. We saw how John Smith in Virginia can help bring down our economy by defaulting on his mortgage. This shift in the human race seems a natural evolution, but every evolution has it's consequences.
In order for one to survive in this world, we must have a balance of, and I must use these words loosely, a balance of liberal and conservative. There is the innate human instinct to play safe and trust in what has worked, and then there is the nerve to fight for the future, even die in the pursuit of it. During the course of our lives we balance our own internal forces.
In between it stands something everybody universally pursues. It has been called many things... Zen, Heaven, paradise, ect. I think I have, after intensive search found the outer walls of that bit of Yaweh, Krishna, Allah, ect that is inside me.
But my search has come at a cost to my body, my abilities to cope... It focused attention where it needent go. I have become absorbed into this world and need to take a break, a vacation from all things man has made. I plan to get on a train twenty four hours from now and head to the heart of the old land, Harpers Ferry, WV. When I get off the train in the morning I shall take a left turn down the platform, a right turn, and walk into the mountains on the Appalachian Trail. I do not plan to emerge from the wilds for 60 days.
I have given myself the very basic needs of survival for sixty days, and a few cheats (like a fishing rod) and rations. In this time I will explore the bounty of this land, and become one of it... This will not be a peaceful camping trip. I will be pushed to my 325.4 pound limit. It will thunderstorm and rain for days, with minimal shelter and no electricity or heating. It will not be a vacation, I don't even know where or when it will really end... There is no set plan for my return only a general idea.
I know that there are more practical uses of my time, and that the people in my life would most directly see the benefits of me staying and getting a job. I know this, and I agree. However I must put forth this defense: the self is always first. If I am incomplete, my relationships with people will be incomplete.
I am ungrateful, I am selfish, spoiled. I will deprive myself of the ability to be so and will go another step forward-- I will be taught gratitude, I will be humbled, and I will be as close to deprived as my sanity allows me. I will laugh and cry in the same day, then pack up and walk to the next waypoint.
In the end you and I both shall benefit. The world will benefit. One mans inner peace can change the world, even if it only ripples those around him.
To the world I temporarily leave behind, I bid you the best of tidings. I know you won't tear yourself into pieces.
To my friends, old and new, young and ripe, thank you. Pray for me, for us.
To my family, as much love as I can provide.
And to myself-- good luck.
Yours,
M
