Now that's funny!!Some of the Conductors on the TE between SAS and FTW are known for their witty announcements such as when Approaching a Stop will, for example, announce "Taylor Texas, Last Call!" even before stopping @ the Station!
On the Sunset Route between SAS and LAX I've heard "Alpine, next stop.This is a Fresh Air/Smoking stop, but stay Trainside and don't wander off. Next Train is in Three Days if you miss this one!"