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Ban them both. In reality he shouldn't have used the knee defender and should have removed it when instructed to by the crew. While I love the premise of the knee defender the best course of action is to let the flight crew deal with the issue and complain to customer service once on the ground. Committing a battery by throwing water at someone isn't the answer and she should be banned accordingly as it was the water throwing that resulted in the diversion (per the article).

The true blame is on both the airlines for cramming too many seats into coach, and the inconsiderate folks who inhabit said seats. I say this having almost had a laptop snapped in half while working on it by someone who shot the seat back without so much as a word which would have given me a chance to rearrange things. Nowadays I don't even try to use a laptop on a plane due to the cramped space and just use an ipad instead to work or whatever.

Of course the true solution is either install seats with no recline like Spirit or Allegiant or take a couple of rows out and give the sardines some space.