T
Tom Tepe
Guest
RE: the discussion about the appropriateness of “oriental”
How we address and refer to one another is largely governed by manners. The law rarely governs these matters. When manners are gathered together and written down, they reflect behavior that is respectful and considerate of others. Good manners smooth our interaction with everyone, especially strangers.
Few of the people that read and post on these forums actually know one another or each other’s identifying characteristics. We have been brought together by a common interest and it is probably wise to assume great diversity among the group.
When I meet new people in a business or social situation, I try to focus on something we have in common. If I unintentionally offend someone, I immediately apologize. Establishing rapport and good relations trumps my right to say whatever was found offensive. In effect I would be saying, “I care about how you feel.” To do the opposite would clearly be saying, “I don’t care how you feel.”, and that is both hostile and offensive.
The term “oriental” may lack the venom and special place in our culture of the “n-word”, but for the last 30 years or so Asians have made it pretty clear that that is how they prefer to be referred to. To ignore that preference for so long, insist upon doing otherwise and then say the problem lies with the other person says a great deal.
If someone receives poor service in an Amtrak dining car, they should write a letter to Amtrak that notes the deficiency, describes the offending employee(s) and bends over backwards to avoid loaded language. Two things will likely result: 1) management will have an opportunity to intervene with the offending employee and the employee will be denied the excuse that the complaint was based on prejudice, rather than poor service; and 2) you will likely receive a customer service voucher applicable to future travel.
Taking the time to carefully craft that which we commit to writing pays meaningful dividends.
The OP started out with a legitimate point, but undermined him or herself by how he or she said it. The proof of that is in how the discussion has proceeded.
How we address and refer to one another is largely governed by manners. The law rarely governs these matters. When manners are gathered together and written down, they reflect behavior that is respectful and considerate of others. Good manners smooth our interaction with everyone, especially strangers.
Few of the people that read and post on these forums actually know one another or each other’s identifying characteristics. We have been brought together by a common interest and it is probably wise to assume great diversity among the group.
When I meet new people in a business or social situation, I try to focus on something we have in common. If I unintentionally offend someone, I immediately apologize. Establishing rapport and good relations trumps my right to say whatever was found offensive. In effect I would be saying, “I care about how you feel.” To do the opposite would clearly be saying, “I don’t care how you feel.”, and that is both hostile and offensive.
The term “oriental” may lack the venom and special place in our culture of the “n-word”, but for the last 30 years or so Asians have made it pretty clear that that is how they prefer to be referred to. To ignore that preference for so long, insist upon doing otherwise and then say the problem lies with the other person says a great deal.
If someone receives poor service in an Amtrak dining car, they should write a letter to Amtrak that notes the deficiency, describes the offending employee(s) and bends over backwards to avoid loaded language. Two things will likely result: 1) management will have an opportunity to intervene with the offending employee and the employee will be denied the excuse that the complaint was based on prejudice, rather than poor service; and 2) you will likely receive a customer service voucher applicable to future travel.
Taking the time to carefully craft that which we commit to writing pays meaningful dividends.
The OP started out with a legitimate point, but undermined him or herself by how he or she said it. The proof of that is in how the discussion has proceeded.
