# Parents against train hobby



## TylerP42 (May 28, 2015)

(Not Sure where to post)

Basically, my parents are against me doing train photography, train spotting, and taking trains.

Not sure why, they won't tell me, other than "its weird"... I wanted to take a train ARB-DER For the Henry Ford Museum, but they told me no and offered no explanation other than "its useless to do that since we can drive"... I even offered to pay and got a no. I have no idea how to get them to see that this is a good hobby, but they will only tell me no. I can't even go down to my local train station and take pictures.

Any Suggestions?


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## AmtrakBlue (May 28, 2015)

Uh, oh. Sounds like they've visited AU (this forum). h34r: 

Just kidding.

Maybe ask them what activities they think are "normal" and then ask why those are "normal", but a love of trains is not?

Might also be because of your grandfather. Was he obsessed with trains? Did that interfere with his family life?

Or maybe your love of trains is a painful reminder of him (in a loving way).


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## caravanman (May 28, 2015)

Edited, as my sense of humour may not be everyone's sense of humor ... 

Ed


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## Swadian Hardcore (May 28, 2015)

People thought I was weird for liking buses. You're going to have to argue for it in a respectful way. For example, ask them why it's weird, then rebuff them. Though, frankly, my mother supported my bus enthusiasm as best she could.

Edit: Of course, if these weren't your parents, you could give them the old "I'll like what I want to like and nobody is going to do anything about it!"


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## CHamilton (May 28, 2015)

Tyler, everyone has hobbies. On this forum, you will see people who like (and sing and play) classical, jazz, hiphop and every other type of music; others who like diverse forms of transportation, including airplanes, cars and (as Swadian says) buses; others who are actors and work in movies, television, radio and theatre; others who enjoy every form of literature imaginable; others who participate in politics (often on different sides of the aisle); and on and on. We enjoy sports of every variety. We live in every corner of the US, and some live in Canada, the UK, Europe, and elsewhere.

What this group has in common is an interest in trains. That doesn't mean that we don't like cars; it just means that we recognize the beauty and utility of rail transportation. If you met most of us on the street, you'd never know that we were any different from anyone else.

There's nothing weird about our interest. Many famous people, from John Madden to Dan Akroyd, even Walt Disney and many others, enjoyed trains.

Most of us were lucky to have parents and grandparents who encouraged our interest. I'm sorry that your parents don't approve, but maybe you can find other relatives who do. There are a lot of us around.

Best wishes. Maybe we'll catch up with you someday.


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## TylerP42 (May 28, 2015)

Guess who just convinced their parents after about 2 hours of explaining my hobby to take ARB-DER Round trip! This guy! With help from all of you with your awesome points and support! Thanks guys! They are now going to be more supportive and willing to let me go and have fun! They said it like this "at least it ain't drugs..."


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## Steve4031 (May 28, 2015)

Congratulations. Enjoy. Most people don't get it. I'm glad you could convince your parents


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## SarahZ (May 28, 2015)

I've never understood why people feel the need to forbid someone to do something just because THEY think "it's weird". If it doesn't hurt anyone and it gives that person enjoyment, who cares? They should encourage you to pursue something that makes you happy.

My parents always had the "at least it isn't drugs" attitude about my passions. They hated most of the music I listened to and didn't like most of the artwork I put up in my room, but I was a good kid and didn't get in trouble, so they decided it was one of those "pick your battles" things.  I'm glad you were able to convince them to let you go.


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## CHamilton (May 28, 2015)

Congratulations, Tyler! I'm sure that we'll meet you on a train somewhere soon.


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## Anderson (May 29, 2015)

TylerP42 said:


> Guess who just convinced their parents after about 2 hours of explaining my hobby to take ARB-DER Round trip! This guy! With help from all of you with your awesome points and support! Thanks guys! They are now going to be more supportive and willing to let me go and have fun! They said it like this "at least it ain't drugs..."


Tyler,

I just wandered in here and I want to say that I very much sympathize with your situation. More than a few of us hit roadblocks with various hobbies growing up (my dad thought I was strange for not being into sports, for example); a good deal of that came from not being carbon copies of our respective parents and not fitting into a perfect little box.

Sometimes you just have to sit down and explain things to your parents. It can really go a long way towards bridging gaps like this...but it's going to be explaining things like I suspect you did (which can take an hour or two, or sometimes a _lot _more), not something simpler.

Anyhow, I'd like to join the chorus that is glad this worked out for you...and if we can be of assistance to you (including answering any questions you may have, no matter whether you think they're smart or stupid...just ask jis and Charlie, I ask plenty of "dumb" questions and I've been around for years) _please_ don't hesitate to ask us.


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## railiner (May 29, 2015)

Very interesting subject. Glad that it worked out for the OP, and the support given to him by the 'faithful' here, is very heartening.

As for the reason for the initial objection to the hobby....just another case of people fearing the unknown, and prejudice based on certain stereotypes, perhaps...


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## Swadian Hardcore (May 29, 2015)

We all don't even have the same political beliefs, and we're not all Amtrak fans, but, like Charlie said, we are all united in an interest in trains. My whole life, I've always been considered somewhat of a "different" guy, but in person, I can talk to pretty much anyone.

GL Tyler!


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## cirdan (May 29, 2015)

My parents were grudgingly tolerant of my interest when I was a kid. If anything, their main concern was that it was occupying too much of my time, that I should be spending on schoolwork.

It was more the other kids at school who caused me trouble. They thought it was wierd and sometimes mocked or bullied me for liking trains. I was a lot more interested in trains than I was in music or sports. Not having a favorite band or sports team was something that they simply couldn't understand. So I just pretended to like a certain team and a certain music to avoid their questions, but they would try and catch me out by asking questions proving I didn't know a thing about that team or band, I never got why it was so important to have a favorite sports team or music but nobody cared what my favorite locomotive type was.

On the other hand, I think my hobby kept me well away from drugs, gangs, violence and other issues many young people have to face up to as most of my train friends were of similar inclination to myself and when we met up we would talk trains and nothing else. Okay, we talked about girls sometimes, but even that was more of a rarity. So really I think my parents and teachers should have pleased I was there.


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## TylerP42 (May 29, 2015)

Thank you to everyone for the help and support. It means a lot. I think (Surprisingly over a very short period of time now) They understand my hobby and are willing to support me, even a little. Which is a lot for me.

Again, thanks for the support and hopefully we'll meet on the rails some time.


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## Swadian Hardcore (May 29, 2015)

I was quite the opposite of cirdan. I aggressively pushed the buses into conversations with other kids, no matter who. I morphed topics and conversions and dropped bus anecdotes in as much as possible. It actually worked out for me in the end. While other people got high on drugs or alcohol, I got high on buses. While other people cheered for sports teams, I cheered for Greyhound. I could talk with nigh anybody about nigh anything, and then add something about buses in the end. People came to except it from me and no longer thought I was weird anymore, they just slowly accepted and respected that I was different.

If you ever happen to see me threadjacking on AU, you'll see "the real Swadian" coming out.


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## railiner (May 30, 2015)

cirdan said:


> So I just pretended to like a certain team and a certain music to avoid their questions, but they would try and catch me out by asking questions proving I didn't know a thing about that team or band,.


Your experience sounds similar to a gay person faking an interest in the opposite sex, and trying to avoid being "outed".....very unfortunate that anyone would have to "hide in the closet". Fortunately, that situation is becoming rarer in today's society, as people are more tolerant and accepting of diversity in all things in general....


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## Bob Dylan (May 30, 2015)

Ditto to what railliner said! Attitudes are changing fast in this society, especially among the young!

No one should have to pretend to be something they are not, only bigoted ignorant haters want everyone to be miserable like they are!

There's a great Bob Dylan song called " Trust Yourself" excellent advice for how to live your life!


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## SarahZ (May 30, 2015)

This is one of my favorite quotations. I hope it helps you.


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## Swadian Hardcore (May 30, 2015)

Agreed. It makes it worse if you try to fake it. Stick it in their face, I say. Not in your parents, though.


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## Acela150 (May 31, 2015)

Tyler,

I can tell you that I am a life long railfan. My Dad (who passed last August) was the one who got me into the hobby, the man made it my passion! Everyone and anyone who asked what I wanted to do when I was young got the answer of "I wanna work for the railroad". My High School principal who I had a "Hate-Hate Relationship" (We HATED each other with a passion) with told me to my face and my now fiancé's face quote "Stephen you'll never work for a railroad". In December I got hired by NS. Once I passed the physical, background check, and everything in between. I sent her a polite letter saying "don't tell me what I can't do and you were dead wrong".

When you're passionate about something, fight for it! NEVER TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER! (within reasonable limits) But I'll be honest, I'm glad that you have a hobby that plenty of other people enjoy! Trains are better then something that could land you behind prison bars and walls. When I got hired on at NS I was working with two conductors, one was a utility man, the other the conductor I was working with for the day. A railfan was taking pictures of the locomotives that we were on at the time. They said they didn't understand it, thought it was stupid, and then some. I asked them, What are you guys passionate about? One guy said UFC or WWE (something to that effect) the other guy said Play Station. So I turned the tables. I told them that UFC or WWE is stupid. Same for the guy with the Play Station hobby. They were stunned that I said something like that. They then said "No it's not". So I told them neither is being a rail fan. I told them that I am a railfan. When I turned the tables and gave them a hey think about it speech they realized that it's not a big deal to be a railfan. Many Railroad workers are rail fans!! If one goes and looks at the "Northeast Corridor Rail Fans Facebook Page" many of the posters are Amtrak engineers and conductors. One of which is an Engineer on the NEC, who jokingly calls the Acela train he runs M-F "2165 of America". He is a great railfan! You can go on youtube and search "Ghost Engineer" and all of these videos of him laying on the horn will show.

Bottom line is it's a great hobby and great career if you choose! NS is hiring thousands, yes thousands of T&E employees now! NS needs employees so badly that many hiring sessions are open to the general public to come and apply and if they pass the standardized testing an interview. The money is good! But it is a challenge. if you want more details on my experience please feel free to shoot me a PM (Personal Message) I will answer any questions you have.

Fight for them rails! 

Steve


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## TylerP42 (May 31, 2015)

Acela150 said:


> Tyler,
> 
> I can tell you that I am a life long railfan. My Dad (who passed last August) was the one who got me into the hobby, the man made it my passion! Everyone and anyone who asked what I wanted to do when I was young got the answer of "I wanna work for the railroad". My High School principal who I had a "Hate-Hate Relationship" (We HATED each other with a passion) with told me to my face and my now fiancé's face quote "Stephen you'll never work for a railroad". In December I got hired by NS. Once I passed the physical, background check, and everything in between. I sent her a polite letter saying "don't tell me what I can't do and you were dead wrong".
> 
> ...


Yeah, When you say a lot of railroad workers are railfans, I started talking to an Amtrak Conductor yesterday and he got really passionate about it and we were talking about (VERY in-depth) about the differences of Amfleet, Horizon, and Heritage cars (inside, outside, etc) and about the locomotives. It was awesome and as soon as I started speaking "The language" his face lit up and he got really into it.


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## railiner (May 31, 2015)

TylerP42 said:


> Acela150 said:
> 
> 
> > Tyler,
> ...


Reminds me of a line spoken by the late, great, Tim Russert, NBC host of "Meet the Press"....while covering some highly dramatic story unfolding in the national political arena, he turned to his colleague and said: "Can you believe they actually pay us to do this?"


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## Acela150 (May 31, 2015)

Haha! It's funny we do a lot of sitting and waiting. We say something similar.


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## jis (May 31, 2015)

I have been a railfan since before I was born I think. I jokingly say that it is in my genes. My grandfather (on my father's side) was a railroader, worked as a track inspector on the Bengal Nagpur Railway (BNR) which is now part of the South Eastern Railway (SER) in India.

So naturally no resistance from my parents as far as that goes. Their biggest complaint was that I was interested in too many things besides what they considered should be my primary interest, that is do well in school/college. So the parameters were well know, and as long as I kept turning in straight A's they had not much of an argument to keep me from indulging in as many extra-curricular activities I wanted to, which included things as diverse as (in no particular order) trains, travel, stamp collection, girls, cricket, field hockey, soccer, drama clubs etc. etc. It was easy to find time for all this since when and where I grew up I did not have access to TV, telephone (even the wired kind), computer games, heck even computers most of the time (My Dad installed and managed the first Computer Center in the University where I went to school in India), cars (bicycle was our main transportation), and such time killers


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## GG-1 (May 31, 2015)

Aloha

Just think I have been into trains and theater. Trains when 6 and I saw my first GG-1. Theater not so sure of the age. Astronemy which morfed into theater stars.


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