Yeah, you get to sit in a coach seat all day, though getting some darn good meals at it, without access to the rest of the train beyond your car. Then you get to stay at a Hampton Inn. Their hotel choices generally are 2 star/3 star, though, to be fair, that is largely a function of of what's available at their layover points.
Their cancellation/refund policies are downright punitive and horrible. It pretty much boils down to whatever money you give them, they are going to keep, no matter what. Period.
Their value proposition is lousy in my view. CZ coach with access to the Sightseer Lounge and choosing the whatever hotel suits you best and you choose to pay for will be fraction of the cost of RMR. It is still coach.
I hear you - value is entirely subjective, and what is "worth it" to one, may be a waste or poor value to another. And that's totally reasonable.
In my "review" last year, I mentioned that if it were just me doing the trip, I'd likely go by Amtrak. But with my mom, the RM was a better choice. I've taken my mom on Amtrak several times - primarily in biz on the Surfliner, but also on a day trip in a sleeper on the Starlight.
My mom was *very* put off by the Amtrak experience - a dirty room, a couple of interactions with an abnormally surly employee, lack of seating in the Sightseer lounge car, etc. So much so, in fact, that she didn't initially want to go on the RM for fear "all trains were like that".
Now, I've ridden Amtrak enough to have had a variety of experiences - both good and bad - so I know her distastes weren't entirely fair. But I chose the RM because I couldn't find one single review of "things going wrong". I don't mind a bit of "adventure" on travel, but for some, like my mom, a nearly guaranteed good experience is absolutely worth the cost.
You mention that lodging is a function of what's available at layover points - indeed. That's a very big factor. Speaking exclusively to the only current US route of the RM (Rockies to Red Rocks) - there is only the overnight stop in Glenwood Springs, so while the two hotels they use are pretty modest (though historically interesting), there really aren't better alternatives.
On the Moab end, they partner with two hotels - one of which is the Hoodoo, arguably the nicest place in town and certainly worthy of being called a luxury hotel. That, I grant, is at an extra cost.
On the Denver end, they offer advice and concierge booking of whatever you like. In our case, we used a chain 3 star place (nothing special) near the airport, to make for convenient departure in the morning. But plenty of nice properties in Denver proper were available as well.
I'd also argue the seat. Yes, it is Coach - in the sense you get a seat, and not a sleeper room or similar. But for a trip that only runs during daylight hours - and revolves around constant food and drink offerings and a running tour, I'm not sure being inside a sleeper room would make that better.
And as a coach experience - and I say this as someone who likes Amtrak even with it's "realities" - the RM is far better. It's consistently clean, for starters, and staff was never anything but smiles.
As far as "moving outside your car" - that wasn't my experience. We had access to both the same class cars, which also included small outdoor vestibules available whenever you'd like. Two lounge cars with the bar, piano, games, cocktail tables, and so on were also free to use. The only thing prohibited was moving outside your class of service - not terribly different to Amtrak where coach isn't supposed to enter the sleepers, and has only limited access to the dining car.
I didn't have any experience with needing a refund, so I can't comment on the realities or practicalities of how they'd handle that. I can say that I did have to make a change after booking (date of travel), and also called for help with the park excursion - and it was fast, reasonable, and easy.