Amtrak announces Traditional Meals.
Amtrak, today, announced that the so-called flex meals have become such a tradition throughout the country that they are now considered "Traditional Meals" and will be served as such on all long distance trains. Moreover, since the famous, highly praised, declicious, freshly made brownies and blondies are so loved by passengers, they will now be used forever as the sole dessert for all Amtrak meals as well as being the sole snack sold in the Amtrak cafes from on. Using an advance on the proposed stimulus money, Amtrak is requesting bids for 1 billion flex meals and 10 billion brownies and blondies and will keep them stored in their Indiana Beech Grove facility until used to insure that they are available when needed until the new railcars are procured and eventually obsoleted.
When asked how can the meals and desserts remain fresh for up to potentially 40 years, Amtrak responded that with all the salt, sugar and preservatives, these items should easily last a century.