Amtrak vs spouse/partner

Amtrak Unlimited Discussion Forum

Help Support Amtrak Unlimited Discussion Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
My first overnight trip with my GF was on the Capitol Limited from Chicago to Washington, D.C. We got out of Chicago on time. Dinner in the diner was awkward. I recall her ordering the fish and expecting what was on the menu and then receiving a different fish. We both knew it was not what she ordered, the waiter insisted it was the fish on the menu, so no tip for him. We returned to the room to enjoy looking out the window with the lights off. We were traveling in the summer and the sun was setting as we entered a thunderstorm. I set up my boombox to play Barry White, not so loud as to disturb other passengers, and we started looking out the window. This was someplace between Gary and Porter.

The music set the mood, and we were relaxed. GF was beginning to understand the magic of train travel. Just west of Porter, we came to a stop. I explained that we were probably waiting for a train to go through the junction. Three 7 minute long Barry White songs later with no trains passing and I knew something more serious was happening. GF asked a few more questions. I turned off Barry White and turned on the scanner. The dispatcher was busy. I discovered that the storm had been strong enough to blow trees over onto a freight train and knock out the power for the signals. Then the dispatcher stated that the crew on such and such train had died. GF was shocked and worried until I explained what this really meant. We sat and sat and sat. Looking at the same house. I can pick out that house every time I go by Porter today. We went to bed about 9:30 p.m. and were still sitting. GF was wondering how late we would be and I explained I really could not predict until we were moving again.

We fell asleep. I woke up and at 11:45 p.m. were highballing. GF woke up and I explained we would probably be eating breakfast in Toledo. She was surprised at the gleeful tone in my voice. She always was telling me to look at the blessings in a situation so I thought using this line of thinking would convince her to enjoy a 6-hour delay. I explained that the blessing would be that we would see the trackage from Toledo to Pittsburg in daylight. She was not buying it. Then we made an emergency stop. We could smell the brake shoes burning and she thought the train was on fire. I explained we had probably had a loose air hose and this caused the brakes to apply at 79 mph.

We eventually made it to Washington, D.C. and the return trip was on time. But GF's first impression was that trains run late. This was confirmed on a few more Amtrak trips and thus she is not a train person. She did enjoy the high-speed trains in Europe.
 
My wife enjoys train travel when it has transportation value. A trip like the one I took a few weeks ago just to ride trains (NJ transit to NY Penn to Montreal then Ottawa, Toronto, Winnipeg, Churchill, Winnipeg, Toronto and flight to EWR) is a no go. But taking the train from NYC to Reno in a sleeper and then renting a car for a week of “normal” travel is totally fine with her and she will enjoy the train trip and often prefer it over flying.

Closer to home, Amtrak would be her preferred travel method for trips involving the NE corridor. But when the new route to Burlington, VT opened last year she had zero interest in riding it and coming straight back home.

Last year I took the Dover Harbor private car from NYC to DC on an inexpensive repositioning run and thought she might enjoy that (somewhat luxurious and unusual)… but no. Did that trip with the same friend I went to VT with.

Overall I’m pretty lucky 🙂
 
Last edited:
My first overnight trip with my GF was on the Capitol Limited from Chicago to Washington, D.C. We got out of Chicago on time. Dinner in the diner was awkward. I recall her ordering the fish and expecting what was on the menu and then receiving a different fish. We both knew it was not what she ordered, the waiter insisted it was the fish on the menu, so no tip for him. We returned to the room to enjoy looking out the window with the lights off. We were traveling in the summer and the sun was setting as we entered a thunderstorm. I set up my boombox to play Barry White, not so loud as to disturb other passengers, and we started looking out the window. This was someplace between Gary and Porter.

The music set the mood, and we were relaxed. GF was beginning to understand the magic of train travel. Just west of Porter, we came to a stop. I explained that we were probably waiting for a train to go through the junction. Three 7 minute long Barry White songs later with no trains passing and I knew something more serious was happening. GF asked a few more questions. I turned off Barry White and turned on the scanner. The dispatcher was busy. I discovered that the storm had been strong enough to blow trees over onto a freight train and knock out the power for the signals. Then the dispatcher stated that the crew on such and such train had died. GF was shocked and worried until I explained what this really meant. We sat and sat and sat. Looking at the same house. I can pick out that house every time I go by Porter today. We went to bed about 9:30 p.m. and were still sitting. GF was wondering how late we would be and I explained I really could not predict until we were moving again.

We fell asleep. I woke up and at 11:45 p.m. were highballing. GF woke up and I explained we would probably be eating breakfast in Toledo. She was surprised at the gleeful tone in my voice. She always was telling me to look at the blessings in a situation so I thought using this line of thinking would convince her to enjoy a 6-hour delay. I explained that the blessing would be that we would see the trackage from Toledo to Pittsburg in daylight. She was not buying it. Then we made an emergency stop. We could smell the brake shoes burning and she thought the train was on fire. I explained we had probably had a loose air hose and this caused the brakes to apply at 79 mph.

We eventually made it to Washington, D.C. and the return trip was on time. But GF's first impression was that trains run late. This was confirmed on a few more Amtrak trips and thus she is not a train person. She did enjoy the high-speed trains in Europe.
What did it really mean that the crew had died?
 
Last year at this time my spousal unit joined me for part of my Victory Lap of America - I was gone a month+ going from PDX to Chicago, staying a few days, to South Bend, staying for Studebaker event, to NYC where Bren' flew to join me for a few, NER to DC for a few, Silver to Orlando to visit a friend on the space coast, side trip to Miami from West Palm on Brightline, Bren' flies back home from Orlando and I take Amtrak all the way back home on one long booking but missed a connection in DC so Amtrak put me up and then got me back home by rail the next day. This worked fine, Bren' enjoyed her part of the trip by train (bid up from roomette to full on the Silver) but probably wouldn't have been up for the full trip by rail. Since I'm retired and she's not, time constraints were also a factor.
 
My wife and myself have been traveling via Amtrak for over 20 years. My wife dislikes air travel, even first class, the crowded airports, the long waits going through security being treated as a convict and the tightness of it all. She must have a bedroom on the overnights, roomettes for day trips but that's fine with me. Of course rail travel is not fast but we find it a more relaxing experience. At this stage in life we are in no hurry. We only fly occasionally when there is a rare urgent requirement to get there fast.
 
With my wife, I had to progress from shorter to longer trips. Our first trip happened because she had to go to Philadelphia for a work event. My son and I had to leave a day earlier, so we were going to drive to the event and my son and I take the train home. She decided to just take the train too both ways. She said she was okay with it but didn’t think she would like too much longer of a trip (we did PGH-PHL, about 7 hours)

Well, I talked her into riding to NYP on our next trip to New York and she was okay. We did a couple other trips, like driving to BWI and taking the Palmetto to FLO for a Myrtle Beach trip. Finally I convinced her to do an overnight on the Auto Train and that went well, but when I told her about the 2 night trains out west, she threatened to divorce me if I ever made her do one of those.

Well, last summer we finally went on the “divorce train” (SWC CHI-LAX) and she actually enjoyed it, and we haven’t contacted any lawyers (yet😀)
 
My wife and I just enjoyed the Sunset Limited from LA to San Antonio. There was no silverware and the mediocre meals were served on plastic plates. The staff were competent and friendly.

"I simply shrug and say what the Tralfamadorians say about dead people, which is 'So it goes.' "

Kurt Vonnegut
 
As a life-long train enthusiast, I welcome each and every opportunity to take a long-distance train trip. While my wife is not quite as enthusiastic about trains as I am, we have made enough long-distance train trips together for her to recognize that Amtrak is our best travel option. (Neither of us likes to fly and, as seniors, we’re no longer up to driving long distances.)

To make our trains trip as easy on her as possible:
--we always book bedrooms for our overnight trains, making the reservations as early as possible.
--we no longer travel with luggage that needs to be checked.
--we make sure that we have guaranteed connections with our connecting trains.
--we confirm in advance the availability of cab service at our destination (particularly when we’ll be arriving late at night.) Since we don’t have a “smart phone” calling Uber is not an option for us.
--we pack along an extra set of our printed tickets plus printed confirmations of our hotel and rental car reservations.
--we have a printed list with all the important phone numbers and e-mail addresses we might need while away from home.
--we assume our long-distance trains will be running late.
--we try to anticipate any problems that might arise and have backup plans worked out ahead of time just in case.
--we take advantage of the knowledge and experience of other AU members and don’t hesitate to post requests for advice or information if we’re unsure about something. (Thanks to the responses we’ve received, we’ve acquired a great deal of valuable information that makes our traveling on Amtrak even easier.)
--we call Amtrak Customer Relations to help us deal with any problems.
--we approach each new trip as a positive experience to be savored to the fullest. When things don’t go as expected, we remain flexible and make the best of the situation.
 
Last edited:
I love riding Amtrak in a bedroom across country when we go on vacation, then we always fly back home. My wife doesn't like riding Amtrak because we do it every year. She just wants to get where we are going as quick as possible. Anyone else have this problem with their significant other? If so, do you still ride Amtrak every year or have you given up for the sake of your spouse, or have you got rid of your spouse and kept your Amtrak trips, lol? Just trying to figure out how we can work this out and still ride my trains. Getting to the vacation spot is half the fun via Amtrak. Suggestions please before I have to get rid of one, to keep the other.
My partner hates flying and will do anything to avoid it. Fortunately for me, that includes Amtrak...

Do you know what specifically she doesn't like about Amtrak? If it's the time commitment, maybe you can find something to compensate like bringing books, or small card/board games to play? Depending on the route, you might be able to invest in a cell hot spot or better data plan so she can be using a laptop while you travel.
 
One idea might be to fly to your vacation destination then train home. Given Amtrak's track record for timeliness, you would arrive at your destination more quickly with less risk of issue, pleasing your spouse. Then the train home can be a way to relax and destress after the trip before having to get back to work.
This is a great suggestion, and another option would be to see if there's any big fare discrepancies either way. We've sometimes found that we can save some money by being flexible on which way we train vs fly.
 
I love riding Amtrak in a bedroom across country when we go on vacation, then we always fly back home. My wife doesn't like riding Amtrak because we do it every year. She just wants to get where we are going as quick as possible. Anyone else have this problem with their significant other? If so, do you still ride Amtrak every year or have you given up for the sake of your spouse, or have you got rid of your spouse and kept your Amtrak trips, lol? Just trying to figure out how we can work this out and still ride my trains. Getting to the vacation spot is half the fun via Amtrak. Suggestions please before I have to get rid of one, to keep the other.
I will only go long distances by train unless I have to go another way. My wife enjoys the train especially when we get a sleeper. though she would just as soon fly. We have a sleeper booked to Florida both ways for our daughter's wedding in July. When my daughter and her fiance were talking about wedding plans, I said, "Just make sure it is somewhere I can go to by train." (only half joking)! We have had some great trips and have good memories of dining with customers and of some fine Amtrak staff (Shout out to Johnnie, dining car attendant on the Silver Meteor (I think.)! For me, Amtrak in a sleeper is part of the vacation.
 
I will only go long distances by train unless I have to go another way. My wife enjoys the train especially when we get a sleeper. though she would just as soon fly. We have a sleeper booked to Florida both ways for our daughter's wedding in July. When my daughter and her fiance were talking about wedding plans, I said, "Just make sure it is somewhere I can go to by train." (only half joking)! We have had some great trips and have good memories of dining with customers and of some fine Amtrak staff (Shout out to Johnnie, dining car attendant on the Silver Meteor (I think.)! For me, Amtrak in a sleeper is part of the vacation.
My very own words. Amtrak is a vacation in itself. When we go to our vacation destination, we have 2 vacations in one.
 
I guess I can comment on my first wife (1984-2004). That was an unusual situation, because we could write our own free standby tickets on United Airlines, and more often than not go first class. But she loved train travel, as long as it was in a private room--only Bedrooms for overnight travel. We went cross-country twice, and also rode the Coast Starlight from Seattle to Los Angeles. We bought rail passes and traveled all over England and Scotland, rode a rather crummy train in New Zealand, and enjoyed American tourist railroads. As with my current wife, the choice to fly or take the train was a financial decision, and flying free usually won out.
 
Back
Top