An Amtrak first........

[Manny T]

Folks, thank you for addressing the broader question! Grin and bear + silence seems to have overwhelming support. I did that once when I was with another person; there was a couple opposite us (me) and 1/2 of the duo simply did not speak and seemed to check us out with disdain. But since his spouse was friendly and talkative, we got through breakfast, though I was uncomfortable with the silence and stony glare across from me.

On another occasion I immediately did not like the person across from me and couldn't contemplate a meal with him. Since I was seated on the aisle and we hadn't ordered yet, I just got up and the waiter was nice about getting my meal to go.

Also, in the mornings, since I am NOT a morning person, 9 times out of 10 I will order breakfast in my room. There's always juice & coffee around so I just have a continental or French toast brought to the room. This is preemptive action to avoid the problem we are discussing.

 

[greatcats]

On the Canadian across Ontario in 1986 ( I have told this story before on here ) I had lunch with a senior couple who were quite obnoxious. He was an old grouch and she yakked away like a magpie. I told myself that i would not care to eat with them again. A few days later when I got into a taxi in Vancouver, another passenger also joined me in the cab and she was in hysterics telling me that when the two old bats got off the train in Calgary, he announced to the entire car of passengers that the wife had not had sex with him in forty years! She looked like she could have killed him on the spot.

A few years ago on the Southwest Chief, I had one meal with a young man who was rather strange and poor company. At the next meal I was directed to go sit with him, but I said in hushed tones ( although I'm known for being too loud ) that I would rather not sit with that guy. The staff complied and put me at another table.

Usually, I have had good to excellent dining companions, but if I had somebody who was out of order and crude, depending on the timing, I might get up and leave and come back later. A few years ago I was on the Crescent in coach and had a very nice gentleman sitting next to me, going from Philadelphia to Spartanburg. I asked him to join me for dinner, which he agreed to do. He sat by the window and he was a BIG and HEFTY man. He was fine company, but it left me so little room that one of my cheeks was hanging out in the aisle! We parted later that evening on most pleasant terms!

 

[rrdude]

I've also had a few meals, mostly dinners, where after a couple of attempts, it was obvious the patrons across the table wanted nothing to do with small talk. Fine. Enjoy the scenery, and finish your meal.

I can honestly say thee worst dinner I had, in terms of company, not the food, was that of another railfan. A "Foamer to top all Foamers". This guy realized that I liked, or knew, or at least had a "passing interest" in rail travel, and it was "Off To The Races" with him. (I simply had a small Zephyr lapel pin on)

He had to blurt out everything he possibly had ever known, seen, or fantasized about rail travel. Of course he had on a RR hat, with pins, and a RR shirt, so he was easily a marked man, but OMG. It was thee worst hour and a half. Even though I tried really hard, to steer the convo to something slightly topical, within seconds, it was back to "....Well, yeah, but once when I was riding the xyz train...."

I was with my 13 year old son, and his friend, and this was on the Zephyr. I tried a couple of times to bring up a topic that the two boys could engage in, but "Old Mr. RR Blabermouth" butt right in, and didn't let either of them get a word in, barely.

We decided to take our dessert to the SSL, and of course Mr. Diarrhea Of The Mouth said, "What a GREAT IDEA!" Ugh. My son then took up the clue, and said, "Dad, Zach and I are gonna go back to the sleeper instead........" I opted to join them. But Mr. RR Know-It-All wasn't done.... "What car are you in?" I feigned ignorance of car numbers, and he then proceeded to inform me of the number system, as it relates to the position of the diner.......... (duh) as I started to walk back to the sleeper. "He Who Could Not Be Shut-Up" was following, yakking the whole way. I could see my kids looking over their shoulders and laughing at me, knowing that I was still being hounded by this RR-encyclopediaic-who-just-has-to-share-it-all-with-me-in-one-breath railfan.

It was obvious he wasn't developmentally disabled or actually had a serious medical mental condition, rather, he had virtually zero social skills. I ditched him when I got to the upstairs bathroom in the sleeper, but he continued to tell me, thru the shut door, that my bedroom had a toilet in it, and I didn't need to use this toilet. (No **** Sherlock?) I felt trapped, but said "Screw this", I'm not letting some over-zealous foamer make me hide in the loo.

I opened the door, and what a glorious sight I saw! He had sunk his railfan claws into another unsuspecting sleeper passenger, and was chatting them up, hovering above them in the doorway of their roomette, effectively blocking the poor soul from any means of escape. I made a quick exit stage left, and retreated to the SSL, at a rapid pace.

Did we see him again? Yup. The Zephyr takes a few hours to X the country. But when I did, or my boys did, we all tried not to make eye contact, and did a rapid about face.

That experience has haunted me for some time, and perhaps made me little more cognizant of how much RR drivel I let go from my mouth, just to be safe.

 

[Hal]

Which is why I resist wearing Amtrak gear when I go to the WIL station for any reason or when I ride Amtrak trains.

Pity the conductor(s). Hope she's not going all the way to Portland or Seattle.

The lady may call up or write and complain that Amtrak employees on the train were rude to her. And then they might query the train crew. Probably send her a voucher. I kid you not.

When I am traveling on Amtrak for pleasure I don't wear any Amtrak stuff. I have some nice Amtrak and Acela caps and a nice casual Amtrak jacket that I will wear but only off of the train.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[FormerOBS]

Further proof of the validity of a theory I have held for a long time: When the Creator was busy doing His "Creation Thing", He concentrated His (Her?) first attention on creating the Einsteins, Shakespeares, Lincolns, Teslas, Mozarts, Shaws, M.L.Kings, Ghandis, etc. Then He created most of the rest of us. Then He got REALLY BORED and indulged His Quirky sense of humor. The result is that about 5% of the population are geniuses and great humanitarians; 90% are wonderful people. About 4% are potentially wonderful people who have problems that we don't know about, and deserve our compassion. The remaining 1% are living proof of the Creator's quirky, and somewhat bizarre and perverse, sense of humor.

So I have to modify the old adage: "Laugh and 99% of the world laughs with you; cry and the 1% have won."

Tom

 

[NorthShore]

So I have to modify the old adage: "Laugh and 99% of the world laughs with you; cry and the 1% have won."

Tom

I have diffused situations with humor and wit....and simply nodding in agreement or politely acknowledging some aspect of reality which someone wants to carp about.
I once sat with a guy from suburban Chicago, who wanted to talk about how bad the city was and insisted upon the importance of gun control. Across from us was a very nice couple from Kansas, who (quite naturally) found guns to be an inherent part of life. There was initial debate that was going nowhere. So I shifted the conversation from guns to gangs. We began to talk about community. There was still disagreement, but it was manageable and more enlightening than encouraging an argument that no one would win, at a table environment which was getting tense.

To top it off, the nice couple came to the city for marital counseling. The angry guy had recently undergone a difficult divorce. He noted his ex wife's background and called her the wicked witch. Picking up on the details of his story, I turned and surprisingly expressed, "They never mentioned in the fairy tales that she was Filipino!"

 

[Railroad Bill]

I would say that 90% of the people we have dined with in the diner have been quite nice and the experience has been very positive. There have been a small percentage who just did not want to converse (which is o.k., some people are shy, have a headache, or are busy texting ) The only problem children we have had (and I believe only 2 or 3) were those who want to talk politics or religion. We usually casually mention that most people stay friends when they avoid both issues in discussions. . Only one person did not take the hint last year on the Sunset Ltd and we ate quickly and left the scene before bloodshed occurred. :giggle:

 

[Manny T]

I think I learned something important on this thread: NEVER, ever, sit in the diner with anyone wearing any sort of RR paraphernalia, insignia,T-shirt, hat, or pin. I have no idea how I've managed to avoid that so far but I thank my lucky stars!!!

 

[Seaboard92]

I can concur railfans can be a pain. While it wasn't on amtrak (ex amtrak car) I was managing a PV on a steam trip. Most of my passengers were families with children which were great. But I had half first class and half coach. This guy came up with a go pro. He asked "isn't this special". And I told him no. It was my third trip over the line and it really isn't that special. And then he was like "well I'm sure you would rather be at home playing call of duty. As obviously this isn't special". Or something like that. And he had his camera rolling the whole time. I looked at him calmly and told him to get out. He didn't listen. So I repeated myself that he needs to get out without a first class ticket. After I raised my voice a final time he left. I'm not saying that all railfans are bad. I've met more good then bad. But the bad are issues.

 

[willem]

Perhaps the talkative railfan was the model for that character on The Big Bang Theory who disrupted the dinner train date of Sheldon and Amy.

 

[JayPea]

Don't have to worry about me being obnoxious. :lol: Railroad paraphernalia notwithstanding, I'm a speak-only-when-spoken-to type and any tablemates I might have are much more prone to my silence than anything.

 

[Mystic River Dragon]

No way anyone would think you are obnoxious, JayPea! Someone who takes the time and effort to plan/take trips with their uncle and enjoys the company of an older relative is obviously a pretty decent person!

 

[me_little_me]

On this trip at another meal the couple we were with spoke almost no English. Not enough to even carry on the most rudimentary conversation. We immediately gave up and also ate in silence.

So they were from Texas?

:giggle: :giggle:

 

[TinCan782]

Don't have to worry about me being obnoxious. :lol: Railroad paraphernalia notwithstanding, I'm a speak-only-when-spoken-to type and any tablemates I might have are much more prone to my silence than anything.

Sounds like me...it takes the other person (maybe my wife) to get me to "open up" and talk a little. That said, on my recent LA to DC round trip some memorable dining car conversations took place (once the ice was broken). :mellow:

 

[SarahZ]

I can honestly say thee worst dinner I had, in terms of company, not the food, was that of another railfan. A "Foamer to top all Foamers". This guy realized that I liked, or knew, or at least had a "passing interest" in rail travel, and it was "Off To The Races" with him. (I simply had a small Zephyr lapel pin on)

I'm not even joking when I say I think I had that guy on my CS trip from Seattle to Emeryville. He completely ruined my enjoyment of the PPC and ended up chasing others out throughout the trip. I only sat in there once I'd glanced to check for him.

He took absolutely zero hints from anyone, and since I'm not one to be rude, I made up some story about having to go back to my room to call my parents just to get away from him.

Part of me felt bad for him, since he obviously couldn't pick up on social cues and really wanted to share his knowledge with everyone and anyone, but I also felt bad for the people who were simply trying to relax, listen to music, and watch the scenery.

 

[JayPea]

No way anyone would think you are obnoxious, JayPea! Someone who takes the time and effort to plan/take trips with their uncle and enjoys the company of an older relative is obviously a pretty decent person!

The woman at breakfast yesterday would beg to differ! :lol:

 

[Bob Dylan]

Those of us who have met you and your Uncle know what great persons ya'll are, so the crabby whiner was wrong!

 

[SarahZ]

To answer the original question, I've only been truly uncomfortable once, and that's because the couple across from us kept asking all kinds of personal questions - "Do you have children? Why not?" "Are you married? Why not? You should get married in Vegas!"

When they asked what we did for a living, I made the mistake of answering that I worked for an insurance company. I got to hear all the usual whining, complaining, and ranting about whatever claim they'd had umpteen years ago and blah blah blah. From there, they asked if we'd started saving for retirement yet and told us how much we should put away each month. Then it was onto asking us what we thought of Obamacare, Obama, and "those illegals".

Brent ate at light speed while I deflected the questions and kept shoving food into my mouth so I could just nod and smile. I don't think we've ever eaten dinner so quickly. We skipped dessert and high-tailed it back to our room.

 

[oregon pioneer]

I guess I've been pretty lucky in my meal companions. I usually try to make an opening gambit to the conversation, but I don't mind eating in silence and staring out the window at the scenery, smiling pleasantly from time to time to indicate I'm the friendly type if the others wish to talk.

Probably the worst I've had was the guy on the Boston section of the LSL that expressed strong opinions about climate change (called it a hoax) which seemed quite at odds with his occupation as a science teacher. It was immediately obvious that I needed to keep my mouth shut, and just smile and nod when he demanded assent. His wife sat in embarrassed silence till they were done, then shepherded him away to their room, while we two single women travelers had the last laugh -- we sat over our tea and dessert, conversing at length about local and sustainable food options in our respective neck of the woods (one east, one west), till the Cafe Car Attendant shooed us out so he could get cleaned up before Boston.

 

[TEREB]

We travel the Silvers from one end to the other 2-4 times a year and always have had more enjoyable tablemates than not. My husband is always the first to strike up a conversation. He also tries to be a good tablemate by shutting up if he senses conversation is not welcomed.

But on a cruise a few years ago, 2 couples removed themselves from our table.

The first night they came into the dining room, one of the men took one look at my husband and turned white. "You're Tony from Red Hook". My husband tells him nope, he's Jimmy from Sheepshead Bay. He just wouldn't believe Jimmy wasn't "Tony from Red Hook". They were obviously very uncomfortable as they ate their dinner.

The next night that same man returned to our table, and as polite as possible, explained that his friend's wife wanted to have late seating and apologized for not being able to continue to share our table.

I don't know who this "Tony" is, but he must be a very scary person. I felt sorry for him as this must have put a damper on his vacation. I can only imagine having to look over my shoulder for 7 days hoping not to see "Tony".

 

[Bob Dylan]

Funny story! "Tony from Red Hook" was probably one of those guys who knew where Jimmy Hoffa was buried, and had shaken the Godfathers hand!

The Greater New York/New Jersey Area is full of 'em!

 

[railiner]

Which is why I resist wearing Amtrak gear when I go to the WIL station for any reason or when I ride Amtrak trains.

Pity the conductor(s). Hope she's not going all the way to Portland or Seattle.

The lady may call up or write and complain that Amtrak employees on the train were rude to her. And then they might query the train crew. Probably send her a voucher. I kid you not.

When I am traveling on Amtrak for pleasure I don't wear any Amtrak stuff. I have some nice Amtrak and Acela caps and a nice casual Amtrak jacket that I will wear but only off of the train.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

This makes me wonder...how do professional railroader's working on Amtrak feel about railfans wearing Amtrak logo apparel on board? And by that I mean anything from obvious 'foamer's' festooned in multiple railroad patches to those more subtle polo's or windbreaker's that could understandably be taken as an actual employee?

 

[Hal]

Which is why I resist wearing Amtrak gear when I go to the WIL station for any reason or when I ride Amtrak trains.

Pity the conductor(s). Hope she's not going all the way to Portland or Seattle.

The lady may call up or write and complain that Amtrak employees on the train were rude to her. And then they might query the train crew. Probably send her a voucher. I kid you not.
When I am traveling on Amtrak for pleasure I don't wear any Amtrak stuff. I have some nice Amtrak and Acela caps and a nice casual Amtrak jacket that I will wear but only off of the train.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

This makes me wonder...how do professional railroader's working on Amtrak feel about railfans wearing Amtrak logo apparel on board? And by that I mean anything from obvious 'foamer's' festooned in multiple railroad patches to those more subtle polo's or windbreaker's that could understandably be taken as an actual employee?

I don't think most professional railroaders mind about rail fans wearing Amtrak logo apparel on board. I don't think they worry about passengers with patches, hats or polos being taken as an actual employee. JayPea encountered a disturbed person. He now has an inkling of what Amtrak crew members sometimes have to deal with. He should continue wearing whatever he feels like wearing.

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[TEREB]

Funny story! "Tony from Red Hook" was probably one of those guys who knew where Jimmy Hoffa was buried, and had shaken the Godfathers hand!

The Greater New York/New Jersey Area is full of 'em!

That's what we thought. And yeah, my husband inherited that look from his dad. And those 2 couples spoke to each other in that language too!!! But my husband is a good man. Not one to be afraid of. That's what makes this story even funnier

 

[Karl1459]

To answer the original question, I've only been truly uncomfortable once, and that's because the couple across from us kept asking all kinds of personal questions - "Do you have children? Why not?" "Are you married? Why not? You should get married in Vegas!"

When they asked what we did for a living, I made the mistake of answering that I worked for an insurance company. I got to hear all the usual whining, complaining, and ranting about whatever claim they'd had umpteen years ago and blah blah blah. From there, they asked if we'd started saving for retirement yet and told us how much we should put away each month. Then it was onto asking us what we thought of Obamacare, Obama, and "those illegals".

Brent ate at light speed while I deflected the questions and kept shoving food into my mouth so I could just nod and smile. I don't think we've ever eaten dinner so quickly. We skipped dessert and high-tailed it back to our room.

If you have the opportunity try this line: "Why not, you should get married in Vegas!" Answer: Amtrak does not have a train to Vegas!"