Dealing with Passengers Unhappy with Community Dining

[reving19]

Wow! I wasn't expecting so many responses. Thanks for all of your input, fellow Amtrak-ers.

A couple of more details for you about this particular incident -- It was lunchtime, around noon. Also, the two guys I ended up eating lunch with were totally cool and I am glad I ate with them instead of the other person. However, the car did not fill up as the attendant expected. But in his defense, he was probably going by experience. In addition, the two other people at the table with the complainer left separately, so it did not appear that they were buddies of his, just other passengers. They made no comments that I heard.

That said, I am taking Amtrak home in a week. I hope my dining car experiences are all positive from here on out. I've had some pretty good ones. This is the lone exception.

 

[leemell]

IMHO, many people have a "restaurant mentality" when it comes to a table. That the entire table is theirs, even if they are alone.

Community seating is the same way on cruise ships. They assign or seat as many people to a table, as the table can hold. As on a train, I find it makes for meeting new people, and usually some good conversation.

I have cruised several times, but two incidences happened on my last cruise that seem to fit the discussion here.

At lunch time, as in a train's dining car, they full up each table, one at a time. This one couple was VERY unhappy to be shown to a table already occupied by others (including me). They "stormed" out of the dining room in a great huff, feeling that they were wronged, and quite angry at the hostess.

At dinner time, you have an assigned table; same table for the entire cruise. On our third night, our table-mates showed up with some friends they made, and were quite insistent that we leave their table so that their friends could sit with them. Well, it is not "their table" (even if their first cruise, they should have figured this out by the third night). It is our table, and the one table we were also assigned to eat at. The waiter attempted to explain it to them, but they too left in a great huff, feeling that they were wronged.

It is quite common is Europe as well. We had people seated with us in several restaurants while traveling there a few years ago. Although there is usually a lot more room than the train seats.

 

[Oldsmoboi]

Don't like community dining? Travel with 3 companions always. Problem solved.

 

[Eric308]

So, who was wrong here? The guy for complaining about more people being at the table?

Yes. That's how it works in the diner.
I've never had any issues with it - sometimes we end up in a great conversation, sometimes we hardly acknowledge each other's presence. I'm cool either way.

Man...if you are that anti-social find another means of transportation. I've never had an uncomfortable experience and look forward to meeting other people. I've even had people request to sit with me again and vice versa.

What in my post led you to believe that I'm in any way antisocial?

No, no...I was not referring to you and was very much agreeing with you. My comment was directed to a previous poster. I should have not posted as a quote directly after yours. Sorry!

 

[Ryan]

No problem, that just confused me a bit.

 

[dlagrua]

I guess that we've been lucky to be able to sit with so many nice and interesting people. You just have to be a bit open minded when you dine in the dining car. You might end up sitting with people totally different than yourself but that's fine with us. We haven't met anyone that we disliked yet. I guess that I'm weird as I like everyone.

I especialy enjoy the "mens breakfast" on the AutoTrain where it seems that the dining car is full of male travelers who share one thing in common- they have breakfast while their wives are still sleeping. The different form of chat at an all male table can be amusing. We're booked on the A/T for May 2012 and look forward to the dinner with my wife but I guess that its the "mens breakfast" in the morning.

If anyone objects to sharing a table in the dining car they are violating policy rules and therefore should be immediately ejected from the car.

 

[Tumbleweed]

A good philosophy to have when entering the diner is "There are no strangers, only friends I have not met."

 

[Big Iron]

It sounds like the pax that left in a huff were not aware of the community seating policy. Most of the times I've heard the LSA announce dinner times he/she would say something to the effect that they were expecting a full diner that night and patrons would be seated with other pax.

What does the Amtrak Onboard Service Manual say about this topic? It sure as heck covers everything else. :blink: :lol:

 

[Ryan]

If anyone objects to sharing a table in the dining car they are violating policy rules and therefore should be immediately ejected from the car.

That's a little harsh, don't you think?

 

[zephyr17]

If there was no community seating, how could anyone ever get a chance to meet Eve Kendall (aka Eva Marie Saint)?

 

[PRR 60]

If there was no community seating, how could anyone ever get a chance to meet Eve Kendall (aka Eva Marie Saint)?

That was a set-up. She tipped the Maitre D to get Roger Thornhill seated with her. Had that been Amtrak, she would have had Bess and Otto from Iowa seated with her talking about Aunt Millie's 60th birthday party. Vandamm's grand plan would have gone up in smoke.

 

[RRrich]

Spouse and I have traveled for three years with a small child on LD trains and we have never had a fourth person seated with us at any meal in any dining car. I'm pretty sure this is for the happiness of the potential fourth person, as most adults can be forgiven for not wanting to sit at table with a small child if they don't know anything about the child's manners (or lack there of). To the OP, though, I wish the already-seated passenger in the case you describe had handled the situation without making you feel unwelcome.

I am not a fan of community dining, but my spouse is--to each their own.

A while back I was traveling alone and I was seated with a couple and a baby - about 2 years old. She was totally delightful :giggle: They ware new to Amtrak and I gave them some advice. At a following meal I saw them and request to be seated with them. Again we had a good time.

Not all folks hate small kids. <_<

 

[NY Penn]

Don't like community dining? Travel with 3 companions always. Problem solved.

Or pay 4 railfares

 

[rtabern]

I never really had/have a problem with "community seating"... but I take the train for almost all my vacations... and have come to expect it and know its coming. Being a single traveler most of the time (or sometimes traveling with just 1 other person), I sometimes look forward to meals and getting to meet new people on board. Some of my favorite memories from the train include people I have met at the dinner table... the WWII Vet who landed on Normandy at D-Day... the Character Artist from Chicago who drew characters of everyone at the table while waiting for his meal... the guy and his wife from England who bought the first copy of my book about the Empire Builder. Sometimes you get people you dont click with, and that comes with the turf, but 9/10 meals have been good people and good conversations. I even ended up dating a young lady I met on the California Zephyr at diner time (random seatings) for about a year in 2008-09. :blink:

 

[Anderson]

If there was no community seating, how could anyone ever get a chance to meet Eve Kendall (aka Eva Marie Saint)?

I actually had a fun situation like this that I know I mentioned in one of my many incomplete travelogues: A friend and I were heading up to NYC so he could go home. We took the Silver Meteor, got a compartment (I calculated the cost of the included meals vs. the "bucket" situation and we found we'd save about $10 going in a compartment rather than in coach), and headed to breakfast as soon as it opened. In the luck of the draw, we got seated at table 4 with an older gentleman and his wife...who turned out to be Joe Haldeman (author of The Forever War) and his wife, two very long-time Amtrak customers (as in they'd been traveling on the Florida trains for 40 years). An hour with someone like that, having cordial discussions about trains and so forth over breakfast, is something that money cannot buy.

I've had a number of other memorable experiences at meals...sometimes I've ended up with the same people twice in a super-LD trip, and I've almost always found good conversation ("So, why the train?" is always a good starter, since everyone has a story on that front of some sort or another). The worst meals I've had have been when I wound up at a table alone; honestly, I wish I could find more situations like that (to be fair I do not like cruises as much, but I suspect I will indulge in a crossing to Europe one day).

 

[Shawn Ryu]

I am actually opposite of this. If I am traveling on Amtrak alone, I hate to be seated alone in dining.

 

[Guest]

I think everyone has missed the boat here. Three people at a table constitutes a pretty full table and if the car was mostly empty, it probably seemed silly to the passenger that someone would be crowded in with them in that circumstance.

Well, a pretty full table is not a completely full table.

On the train (as on a cruise ship), they completely fill one table before starting on the next table. Yea, on a cruise ship packing everyone into one table, while there are 100's of still empty tables, might seem odd (but it isn't).

IMHO, the reason is that you want everyone at a specific table to be at the same stage of eating/ordering. Because of this, you can't easily come back later and add one or two more people to a table that is pretty full, when those people already seated have moved onto eating their main entree. In other words, you pack the table to full, and then everyone orders and eats at the same time. You then pack the second table to full, and those people order while the people at the first table are on their salads. And so on.

At least on a cruise ship they try to match you to people you will be comfortable with. They don't do things like throw single in with a family, they put like people together. There is some logic to it. Amtrak just seems to put people in without regard for who they are.

 

[Henry Kisor]

But how would a LSA know who a patron is?

Just to look at me, a LSA wouldn't know that I'm profoundly deaf and speak funny (think bathtub pipes and muddy enunciation) . . . only that I'm an old guy and maybe would fit best with other old guys and gals. (But that would be ageist, wouldn't it?)

Deafness has led to some memorable moments at the communal dining table. Most Amtrak travelers take the potential communication difficulty in stride and even use the subject as an ice-breaker. I've met some fascinating people and made some lifelong friends in the dining car. Occasionally, of course, there will be a supremely awkward moment when a patron or a couple ask to be reseated at another table. I just smile and nod at the LSA to show that doing so won't be a problem for me. Once in a while someone will react by staring rigidly out the window, avoiding eye contact or any kind of interaction. But such phobic and antisocial personalities are really quite rare.

Communal dining is just fine by me. In fact, I'm disappointed if the car's almost empty and I'm given a table all to myself. (These days, what with increased ridership on Amtrak, that's very rare.)

 

[zepherdude]

I think everyone has missed the boat here. Three people at a table constitutes a pretty full table and if the car was mostly empty, it probably seemed silly to the passenger that someone would be crowded in with them in that circumstance.

Well, a pretty full table is not a completely full table.

On the train (as on a cruise ship), they completely fill one table before starting on the next table. Yea, on a cruise ship packing everyone into one table, while there are 100's of still empty tables, might seem odd (but it isn't).

IMHO, the reason is that you want everyone at a specific table to be at the same stage of eating/ordering. Because of this, you can't easily come back later and add one or two more people to a table that is pretty full, when those people already seated have moved onto eating their main entree. In other words, you pack the table to full, and then everyone orders and eats at the same time. You then pack the second table to full, and those people order while the people at the first table are on their salads. And so on.

At least on a cruise ship they try to match you to people you will be comfortable with. They don't do things like throw single in with a family, they put like people together. There is some logic to it. Amtrak just seems to put people in without regard for who they are.

Sounds like profiling to me. Not much time to ask questions. The joiner is always free to ask for another seat, should he not like the looks of his table companions or walk out to the snack car. I have had the silent treatment and chatty folks and totally enjoy both. One table once we joined each other in the lounge car and played gin until midnight and became great travel buds.

 

[dlagrua]

Our experience seems to indicate that the food service crew tres to "match" people based on how they perceive them to be. This is profiling in a way but if the object is to make everyone comfortable and keep the peace they are successful.

My wife and myself usually go to dinner in a business casual mode of dress. We usually end up sitting with other well dressed middle age people of every race, religion and ethinicity that you can imagine. We've met some really nice people this way but something tells me that if someone shows up in the dining car wearing a confederate flag on a leather jacket the seating arrangment might be different.

 

[Lazy Z]

So, who was wrong here? The guy for complaining about more people being at the table?

Yes. That's how it works in the diner.

I've never had any issues with it - sometimes we end up in a great conversation, sometimes we hardly acknowledge each other's presence. I'm cool either way.

Man...if you are that anti-social find another means of transportation. I've never had an uncomfortable experience and look forward to meeting other people. I've even had people request to sit with me again and vice versa.

How rude!!

 

[Lazy Z]

I love riding Amtrak and meeting interesting people. However, on a recent trip I ran into a person unhappy with community dining. I came into the dining car for lunch, the rail car attendant sat me down at a table with 3 people. There were empty tables around. I said "how are you" to everyone and one guy says to the attendant "There are other empty tables around, why do you sit more people here?" The attendant explained that the tables will fill up soon. He guaranteed it. But he finally asked me if I wanted to sit at an empty table and I said Yes. I ended up sitting with a couple of cool guys heading to a concert.

So, who was wrong here? The guy for complaining about more people being at the table or the attendant for sitting me at a crowded table when there were empty tables around? Maybe neither one?

I didn't ask originally to be sat at an empty table because meeting people is one of the appeals of Amtrak. But while I am sure some of you are going to see the guy's side of it. However, I don't like someone talking about me to someone else like I'm not there. Everybody else I have met at in the dining car has been memorable in a good way. This guy, not so much.

Ever had this problem for a passenger and/or employee point of view?

How mean! I would have felt really bad if I was there alone. There is always someone who thinks they know best. After spending the last 2 days at Disneyland, and seeing how so many people are so rude and self-centered, I am not surprised though. I am a little nervous about that part of out trip. I would rather sit alone than with someone who is rude, but that is part of the trip.

So, do they sit parties of 2 side by side or across from each other?

 

[PRR 60]

...So, do they sit parties of 2 side by side or across from each other?

Side by side.

 

[TimePeace]

Mr. Kisor let me just say that I am one of the many here who have read your book "Zephyr." And in fact it was reading that book that led me to take a couple of trips from Boston to North Carolina several years ago, and eventually to do some coast-to-coast Amtrak trips (including 2 round-trips on the Zephyr).

Thanks for a great read! Anyone who likes Amtrak trains and has not read that book, it is highly recommended.

Edit: "Zephyr: Tracking a Dream Across America", by Henry Kisor

Random House, 1994

 

[pennyk]

I enjoy eating with other people and am pretty good at talking. I have only been seated once at a table when one of the people seated refused to engage in conversation. The other two people at the table and I talked enough for four!!

On my cross country trip last year I witnessed a woman who threw a tantrum when she was told that she and her husband had to sit at table with two other people. She huffed out of the diner and left her embarrased husband there to eat with the others. A few minutes later, she came back and grabbed her husband and apparently they ate alone in their room.

I think the most awkward table mates I encountered was when I was seated at a breakfast table with 3 Mennonite teenage boys who had already ordered and were in mid conversation. My guess is that they were more uncomfortable than I was. I do not know if my converation was appropriate, but I was curious about their religion and asked questions. I ended up learning a lot (but since have forgotten it :lol: ). My philosophy is "when in doubt, ask a question about your table mate" - most people love to talk about themselves.