Out of control train leaves tracks and chases down innocent pedestrian! Tape @ 11!!!
Not at the station I watch:
"Anchor 1: "Once again, a poor victim was run down by a train"
Anchor 2: "And this seems to be happening every day! So we have a live report from Joe Pseudoreporter on the scene followed by our rail expert. Joe, are you there?"
[Joe has just finished talking privately to the conductor whom he addressed as Mr. Engineer and got an explanation about which vehicle was the train and why it couldn't go off the tracks to avoid the accident. He had to quickly learn what to say]
Joe: "Behind me is where the train earlier today hit the unidentified victim who was just trying to get to the store without having to take a detour". [Note, it is the 11PM news so it is pitch black outside so you see absolutely nothing but a glint of track because the only light is from the camera showing a closeup of Joe wearing clothing provided by sponsors listed at the end of the news show. Scene now switches to noon that day about an hour after the accident.]
Joe: "The police are still investigating" [scene of blue lights, ambulance, a few officers talking in the background with no sound and some scenes of the engine sitting there. Closeup of engine's logo. Pictures obviously taken with telephoto lens as 'reporter' didn't want to see any actual blood but cameraman got picture of some dried blood which might have come from a dead animal hit by a car last week]
[Joe goes on to paraphrase the conductor so he looks like he knows what he is talking about]
Joe: "We will keep you abreast of this story. Tune in to WSLEAZE.com beginning at 4:30AM or download our app for your phone to get the latest."
Back to Anchors.
Anchor 2: "Retired CSX executive Ima Western is with us today to give an explanation as to why so many people get killed by trains when they are hit"
Anchor 1: "Mr. Western, is there any reason why trains can't use something like the old cow catchers to knock people gently out of the way?"
[Explanation by Mr. Western as to why it is technically impossible, ridiculously expensive, impractical and would not work anyway]
Anchor 2: [After cutting off the expert] "Thank you, Mr. Western."