Rude and insensitive passengers on board

[JayPea]

The only time I can recall being aboard a train with some loud, obnoxious intoxicated people was over 20 years ago, on the State House (now called Lincoln Service) from Bloomington/Normal to Chicago. There were about half a dozen of them in various states of intoxication, and they were a bit obnoxious. Not exactly rude, but more loud and overbearing. One of them tried to disable the No Smoking sign, an action which didn't go over so well. They were already drunk at 7AM, which might be a bit unusual for that hour, but they WERE Cub fans, on their way to Wrigley Field for a Cubs-Expos game, and as the fan of another sorry team, the Marginals Mariners, I can understand why you would not waht to feel any pain while watching the Cubs. My uncle and I were also on our way to the game, and as it happened, the Expos won 11-0. After sitting through that debacle, I began to wish I'd had something to drink to get me though that mess, and I don't even drink alcohol.

 

[saxman]

Something other then drunks:

I hate it when people watch a movie or listen to music without headphones. It drives me nuts, and I'm usually too nice to say anything at first. The other is loud talkers during the night in coach. Quiet conversation is okay, but telling jokes and laughing at the top of your lungs at 4 am will make me mad. I did tell him to be quiet eventually in a rather stern demeanor.

 

[Devil's Advocate]

If I see a bunch of Cubs fans drinking on a train I'll probably join 'em. I think it may actually be compulsory in the state of Illinois. As for the noise makers, there's one playing some annoying game right now somewhere in my car. Where do these people come from? The whole world is not your rumpus room. When in public turn that crap off or plug it straight into your head. Nobody else wants to hear your cheesy transistor tunes.

 

[Shawn Ryu]

Something other then drunks:

I hate it when people watch a movie or listen to music without headphones. It drives me nuts, and I'm usually too nice to say anything at first. The other is loud talkers during the night in coach. Quiet conversation is okay, but telling jokes and laughing at the top of your lungs at 4 am will make me mad. I did tell him to be quiet eventually in a rather stern demeanor.

If you do it in coach or sleepers yea I agree. But I find no harm in having good time late at night in lounge cars.

Who knows, might scare some of the lounge lizards you guys detest

 

[Devil's Advocate]

I wonder what the accepted method is for dealing with antisocial people who make use of the community seating dining car despite their intention to ignore anyone at their table throughout the entire meal. If I wanted to be ignored by an antisocial tablemate I'd have gotten married. Why don't these antisocial hermits get their order to go or the their attendant bring it? Don't like small talk? Can't hold your end of a conversation? Then maybe you should refrain from placing yourself in situations where it's expected.

 

[Shawn Ryu]

Just ignore them, its their right to not talk to anybody.

 

[cirdan]

I was chatting to a guy I was sharing a dinner table with. He said he was going to Memphis. This being the Texas Eagle, I asked him how exactly he was planning to get there. He insisted Memphis was the next stop, and when it wasn't he insisted it was the one after that.

He then told me that his job was making movies.

I said, now that's cool, I never met somebody who makes movies before. So what do you do? Are you a director maybe, or a producer, or an actor?

He said, no I work with the sets.

I said, now that's cool. we normally talk about directors and actors, but rarely think about the people who make the sets. Yet these are equally important. So what do you do? Are you a carpeneter? Or a designer maybe?

No, I'm more into smashing it all up when they've finished shooting the movie.

Okay, I thought, strange way to say you "make movies", but even if that work isn't glamorous, it has to be done.

So I asked him, what movies did you work on. Maybe some that I have seen?

He said, no, it was porn movies.

 

[Peter KG6LSE]

I wonder what the accepted method is for dealing with antisocial people who make use of the community seating dining car despite their intention to ignore anyone at their table throughout the entire meal. If I wanted to be ignored by an antisocial tablemate I'd have gotten married. Why don't these antisocial hermits get their order to go or the their attendant bring it? Don't like small talk? Can't hold your end of a conversation? Then maybe you should refrain from placing yourself in situations where it's expected.

I am autistic and some days I am VERY much a hermit .

I know you did not intend to offened any one .

However Not every person Wants to chat with some one .

best convo I have had was with a judge for the Cali supreme court on my way in to LAX on the SWC .

 

[ALC Rail Writer]

I wonder what the accepted method is for dealing with antisocial people who make use of the community seating dining car despite their intention to ignore anyone at their table throughout the entire meal. If I wanted to be ignored by an antisocial tablemate I'd have gotten married. Why don't these antisocial hermits get their order to go or the their attendant bring it? Don't like small talk? Can't hold your end of a conversation? Then maybe you should refrain from placing yourself in situations where it's expected.

I'm not the most introverted soul in real life, however in the dining car I usually have two options depending on what kind of people I'm seated with. I may talk if seated with a first timer, giving advice and answering questions is an easy way to engage in polite conversation. Sometimes though I'm seated with people who proceed to inquisition me about every seemingly detail about me, where I'm going, where I work, if I had a good relationship with my father, etc... I then try and give simple answers with less than three words. When you speak in short, disinterested sentences at least most people get that they shouldn't bug you.

Of course what's it your (second person plural) concern if a table mate doesn't want to talk? Shared seating shouldn't mandate conversations, though it may be fun and beneficial, best to relax and talk to somebody else. Everybody's on their own journey, to each his or her own.

 

[caravanman]

Woah! Wait a moment!!! My good friend Devil's Advocate not offend anyone??? That is the best joke on this website!

Ed

 

[AG1]

I wonder what the accepted method is for dealing with antisocial people who make use of the community seating dining car despite their intention to ignore anyone at their table throughout the entire meal. If I wanted to be ignored by an antisocial tablemate I'd have gotten married. Why don't these antisocial hermits get their order to go or the their attendant bring it? Don't like small talk? Can't hold your end of a conversation? Then maybe you should refrain from placing yourself in situations where it's expected.

You, the "Devil's Advocate" should give them the "silent treatment" and teach them a lesson.

 

[SP&S]

One of the best things about taking the train is meeting other folks in the dining car. I enjoy a good conversation there but a small percentage who aren't in the mood to talk. Some people are just shy and silent by nature and I don't take this as being rude. Is it not rude, once you see that they aren't talkative, to try to make them talkers? I figure it's both our loss, but they weren't put on this earth to entertain me.

 

[fillyjonk]

I'm an introvert, and that means sometimes I have already interacted with the "quota" of people in a day that I can comfortably deal with. Sometimes I can't think of anything to say. If someone asks me a question or manages to help lead the conversation, I'll talk, but I have a hard time with the occasional person who apparently expects me to say everything and entertain them.

I'd rather sit with a silent tablemate (or, as I had this last trip, a couple so involved in their smartphones they didn't seem to know I was there) than with someone who goes on a political/religious/cultural rant and makes me an unwilling audience. (I remember one year sitting through one guy's very anti-Christian rant a few days after Thanksgiving. (he claimed to be a Buddhist, though no other Buddhist I've ever met was that against others' beliefs). I finally said - and this took a LOT of guts for me - "I've not said anything negative about your beliefs; would you mind not saying negative things about mine." The fact that what he was saying was largely untrue was another part of it, but I didn't feel like going there and arguing theology....)

 

[WinNix]

Last week my wife was mildly hassled by a guy she says was in his mid-60's. He kept calling her out and trying to draw other people attention to the fact she was working on the train. All the rudeness was indirect, though. He took offence to the fact she was working on her laptop (in a window seat) and felt it was his duty to let everyone around them know it. He moved seats several times, each time he would say just loud enough he just couldn't sit near her because that lady over there had her laptop out, the nerve of her. She says she just kept her head down and refused to acknowledge him.

Relevant side bits -

My wife almost always picks a window seat, doesn't use a phone/ipod/music player. She also never strikes up conversations with people, as she likes a quiet ride.

 

[user 1215]

I wonder what the accepted method is for dealing with antisocial people who make use of the community seating dining car despite their intention to ignore anyone at their table throughout the entire meal. If I wanted to be ignored by an antisocial tablemate I'd have gotten married. Why don't these antisocial hermits get their order to go or the their attendant bring it? Don't like small talk? Can't hold your end of a conversation? Then maybe you should refrain from placing yourself in situations where it's expected.

I am autistic and some days I am VERY much a hermit .

I know you did not intend to offened any one .

However Not every person Wants to chat with some one .

best convo I have had was with a judge for the Cali supreme court on my way in to LAX on the SWC .

Better to talk to them on the train than in a courtroom!

 

[SarahZ]

I wonder what the accepted method is for dealing with antisocial people who make use of the community seating dining car despite their intention to ignore anyone at their table throughout the entire meal. If I wanted to be ignored by an antisocial tablemate I'd have gotten married. Why don't these antisocial hermits get their order to go or the their attendant bring it? Don't like small talk? Can't hold your end of a conversation? Then maybe you should refrain from placing yourself in situations where it's expected.

I don't recall the dining car having a "you must engage in conversation" requirement. I paid to sit in the dining car and enjoy a meal, and I'm going to do so, whether that means I'm silent and introverted or feeling up to conversation that day. I do smile and nod, so I'm not a total lump on the seat, but sometimes I'm too nervous to speak much.

 

[penfrydd]

Usually I simply start with hello, where are you from? You can almost tell by the manner in which they answer these pleasantries whether or not they wish to continue to converse.

I also can usually manage to make it clear when someone is just talking too much or expressing views that are overbearing. It may help that I'm large and male. I don't know, since I've never been small and female...

Without question, rude people should be ignored. Psycopaths should be reported and avoided.

 

[oregon pioneer]

I wonder what the accepted method is for dealing with antisocial people who make use of the community seating dining car despite their intention to ignore anyone at their table throughout the entire meal. If I wanted to be ignored by an antisocial tablemate I'd have gotten married. Why don't these antisocial hermits get their order to go or the their attendant bring it? Don't like small talk? Can't hold your end of a conversation? Then maybe you should refrain from placing yourself in situations where it's expected.

I don't recall the dining car having a "you must engage in conversation" requirement. I paid to sit in the dining car and enjoy a meal, and I'm going to do so, whether that means I'm silent and introverted or feeling up to conversation that day. I do smile and nod, so I'm not a total lump on the seat, but sometimes I'm too nervous to speak much.

Usually I simply start with hello, where are you from? You can almost tell by the manner in which they answer these pleasantries whether or not they wish to continue to converse.

I also can usually manage to make it clear when someone is just talking too much or expressing views that are overbearing. It may help that I'm large and male. I don't know, since I've never been small and female...

Without question, rude people should be ignored. Psycopaths should be reported and avoided.

Devil, sometimes I'm with you, but in this case I'm with Sarah and penfrydd. It's enough to indicate you're pleasantly open to conversation, but if the person sitting across from you has reasons they want to be left alone, YOU'RE the one that's rude and insensitive if you push it. And you don't need to take that personally. Consideration goes both ways.

And penfrydd, I've seen a psychopath or two when traveling. Good advice to report and avoid them.

 

[jis]

I wonder what the accepted method is for dealing with antisocial people who make use of the community seating dining car despite their intention to ignore anyone at their table throughout the entire meal. If I wanted to be ignored by an antisocial tablemate I'd have gotten married. Why don't these antisocial hermits get their order to go or the their attendant bring it? Don't like small talk? Can't hold your end of a conversation? Then maybe you should refrain from placing yourself in situations where it's expected.

I don't recall the dining car having a "you must engage in conversation" requirement. I paid to sit in the dining car and enjoy a meal, and I'm going to do so, whether that means I'm silent and introverted or feeling up to conversation that day. I do smile and nod, so I'm not a total lump on the seat, but sometimes I'm too nervous to speak much.

Besides some people seem to have great difficulty understanding how incredibly boring their idle chitter-chatter could be to someone else. They seem to to think that they are god's gift to humanity for making conversations. What can I say?
There are others of course who are really good conversationalists. But that is usually less common than the other kind.

I tend to just go with the flow..... if a conversation develops that interests me... great! OTOH if that does not pan out that is fine too. but I do hate people who try to push conversations onto me when I don;t find the subject interesting.

 

[SarahZ]

Right. I've enjoyed conversations about where people are from, which trains they've taken, and basic topics like that (plus, kids are fun to talk to and much easier for me to handle than adults), but then I've had people who griped about Obamacare, asked when we were getting married, asked when we were going to have kids, and all sorts of awkward topics. Bleh.

 

[benale]

I have taken many solo Amtrak trips. Meals are certainly a highlight and I've had my share of overly talkative dining companions and others who won't say a word. Usually, the conversation starts with how far are you going and talk about the trip and Amtrak in general.

As far as strange passengers, years ago I was on the Crescent boarding in New York and heading to New Orleans. While waiting on line a strange looking man was spouting Bible verses to himself and he was quite audible. When we boarded,he was seated across from me and started to go to each passenger with his rhetoric. Everybody around me was uncomfortable and he got louder as the day wore on. Nobody tried to stop him and he finally gave up when the lights were dimmed at 10PM.

Usually in these situations, I will always have headphones on, but it is a little annoying to have to deal with someone like this.

 

[user 1215]

If America is a salad bowl, Amtrak is a melting pot. Whereas there are different cultures all across our great country, long distance Amtrak trains tie many of those cultures together and it is facinating if your are willing, but can certainly be awkward (even if you are willing, but not used to change like that).

 

[mjaynes288]

I have been told I was rude on a train. I was sitting at a table in the lounge doing Sudoku puzzles. 2 people asked if they could join me so I put away my book. We were having a nice conversation but they asked me twice if they were bothering me. Finally they told me my body language was rude and left. I never got to tell them I am autistic.

I have encountered one person I found very rude. We had vastly different concepts of personal space. Just after sitting down and ignoring my greeting she leaned across me to plug in her power strip. She then put down my tray table to put her cord behind it. My personal space on a train includes my traytable and anything above or below where it is when down. If you need to invade this space I believe you should ask. I suppose I should be glad she did not drape the cord over my legs. Rudeness is all a matter of perception and opinion.

 

[Ryan]

Agreed.

 

[oregon pioneer]

I have encountered one person I found very rude. We had vastly different concepts of personal space. Just after sitting down and ignoring my greeting she leaned across me to plug in her power strip. She then put down my tray table to put her cord behind it. My personal space on a train includes my traytable and anything above or below where it is when down. If you need to invade this space I believe you should ask. I suppose I should be glad she did not drape the cord over my legs. Rudeness is all a matter of perception and opinion.

OK everyone, I agree with this concept of personal space. So, what do you do when you need access to space on the other side of your seatmate? I ask first if they are willing to plug a cord in for me, or for permission to reach into their space. We need to share close quarters with strangers, so it behooves us to be polite about it.