Sitting Alone in the Dining Car

[fillyjonk]

I'm a pretty serious introvert but I can play at being an extrovert. I've met some interesting people at dinner.

Of late, occasionally, I get at a table with one or two people who do nothing but scroll through their cell phones (updating FB status? I don't know) the whole meal and I admit I feel a little disappointed. (I don't have a smartphone and even if I did, I'd turn it off for dinner)

I find the cell phone can be a good conversation starter....one way is to bring the speedometer display up and remark how fast we are going....most people are fascinated by it and the conversation goes from there....

I'd enjoy that. What I was complaining about were the people who pretended that no one else around them existed, other than the "people" inside their phones.

I will say I've had people share pictures of their other travels (or their gardens, whatever) that are on their smartphones and that can be a fun conversation starter.

 

[user 1215]

We have had so many interesting conversations with people in the diner. It has been the highlight of many trips. Travelers from Europe, Australia, Japan, Russia are always fascinating. Lunch with an Amish couple. Dinner with a Franciscan priest. Breakfast with a jazz musician from NY City.

But yes, please put the smartphones away when at the dinner table. Didn't Mom teach you any manners.?

I always carry my phone with me. I usually pull up the GPS app and sit it in the window where all can see the speed and route. This is usually interesting to everyone.

But talking on the phone or playing solitaire is a bit rude, I will agree.

 

[Devil's Advocate]

Add me to the list of people who dislike being seated with folks who immediately escape into their electronics and pretend even the most minimal social etiquette doesn't apply to them. If you want to be left alone then you are free to eat at your seat or in your room. If you want to eat in the diner then be prepared to exchange some simple pleasantries and engage in a little casual conversation. Is that really too much to ask? I didn't used to think so but now I'm wondering if I'm simply expecting too much.

 

[jis]

Add me to the list of people who dislike being seated with folks who immediately escape into their electronics and pretend even the most minimal social etiquette doesn't apply to them. If you want to be left alone then you are free to eat at your seat or in your room. If you want to eat in the diner then be prepared to exchange some simple pleasantries and engage in a little casual conversation. Is that really too much to ask? I didn't used to think so but now I'm wondering if I'm simply expecting too much.

In my experience, in this day and age, indeed you are expecting too much. Just be flexible and ready to deal with whatever comes your way is the best approach I think. Will save everyone much heart and belly ache.

 

[the_traveler]

I don't think it's too much to ask. As others have said, things like GPS or pictures on the phone are fine. Staring at the phone instead of talking to others at your table is not.

I was surfing thru the TV channels last night, and happened on an episode of Pawn Stars. On it, Chum said "... did you get me text? You should have texted me back." The reply was "Dude, I'm sitting right next to you!" I think the world is too much into technology if machines trump people next to you!

 

[neroden]

Strange. I've never been in a dining car which was less than half-full, even in February. I tend to eat at the first seating for lunch and dinner and about an hour into breakfast time.

 

[Alexandria Nick]

Add me to the list of people who dislike being seated with folks who immediately escape into their electronics and pretend even the most minimal social etiquette doesn't apply to them. If you want to be left alone then you are free to eat at your seat or in your room. If you want to eat in the diner then be prepared to exchange some simple pleasantries and engage in a little casual conversation. Is that really too much to ask? I didn't used to think so but now I'm wondering if I'm simply expecting too much.

In my experience, in this day and age, indeed you are expecting too much. Just be flexible and ready to deal with whatever comes your way is the best approach I think. Will save everyone much heart and belly ache.

I don't like that it's clearly not supposed to be a two way street. People imposing some sort of "we're sitting at the same table so we have to talk or I'll be upset" is just as rude to me, as a person that does want to be left alone. I have zero interest in talking to someone I'm never going to see again while I'm trying to eat.

 

[Dakota 400]

Alexandria Nick,

I understand what you are saying: "...zero interest in talking to someone I'm never going to see again...".

No doubt, there are many on this site that are more traveled than me. But, one of the things that has greatly surprised me in my travels is the number of people with whom I have met in a most casual way initially that has resulted in long term relationships of continuing communication, travels together, and personal visits in their homes. Many of these people I consider to be friends, good friends, in fact.

When one begins a conversation with a "stranger" in what might be considered a "captive" environment as a train, plane, or cruise ship might be considered to be, one does not know where such an event might lead.

Maybe I have been more fortunate than most. But, meeting and enjoying new people during my travels have mostly been a very worthwhile experience.

 

[tim49424]

Alexandria Nick,

I understand what you are saying: "...zero interest in talking to someone I'm never going to see again...".

No doubt, there are many on this site that are more traveled than me. But, one of the things that has greatly surprised me in my travels is the number of people with whom I have met in a most casual way initially that has resulted in long term relationships of continuing communication, travels together, and personal visits in their homes. Many of these people I consider to be friends, good friends, in fact.

When one begins a conversation with a "stranger" in what might be considered a "captive" environment as a train, plane, or cruise ship might be considered to be, one does not know where such an event might lead.

Maybe I have been more fortunate than most. But, meeting and enjoying new people during my travels have mostly been a very worthwhile experience.

I've not met anyone while riding the train that I've ever seen again, except OBS. I did meet an interesting woman from Montana riding the Empire Builder last year and she asked me if I was on Facebook. I added her once I got home and we do interact on occasion. I do have a couple people who I have on my friends list from the Empire Builder facebook page and hope to meet them someday and maybe do a trip on Amtrak together.

On my latest LD trip a few weeks ago, our dining car attendant announced at dinner one of the evenings something to the effect of "come visit the diner and possibly meet new friends and if you're single maybe a future romance." I suppose that stuff can and does happen.

 

[ronkstevens]

My experience has been if the staff know that the seating will be light, they welcome you to spread out.

While I can be a bit introverted, it is amazing what you can learn when you share a meal with a stranger. I've sat with people and had amazing conversations with them, and I have also sat with those that want nothing to do with you.

Concerning the OP comment about a 5th coach, they have been adding an additional coach onto the Meteor in peak periods, and it was about this time last year that they did so.

 

[Henry Kisor]

Every time I go to the dining car it's an adventure. I'm a deaf person with "deaf speech" that can be difficult to understand. How will my seatmates deal with that? It's a 50-50 thing. Half the time Mr. and Mrs. Just Off the Farm will get spooked and just can't handle it, and once in a while will ask to be seated at another table. The other half the time my seatmates will try to bridge the gap and often we get into interesting conversations about disabilities and travel. (Better than politics. I try to avoid that!)

Once I left the table to spare a badly discombobulated elderly couple the agony of dealing with something they'd never encountered in their life, and had a burger in the lounge car instead. The LSA saw what had happened and later in the sleeper stopped by and said she understood but thought I should have stayed and taught them that deaf people weren't monsters to be feared. She may have been right. I was probably too lazy that day.

 

[Alexandria Nick]

Alexandria Nick,

I understand what you are saying: "...zero interest in talking to someone I'm never going to see again...".

No doubt, there are many on this site that are more traveled than me. But, one of the things that has greatly surprised me in my travels is the number of people with whom I have met in a most casual way initially that has resulted in long term relationships of continuing communication, travels together, and personal visits in their homes. Many of these people I consider to be friends, good friends, in fact.

When one begins a conversation with a "stranger" in what might be considered a "captive" environment as a train, plane, or cruise ship might be considered to be, one does not know where such an event might lead.

Maybe I have been more fortunate than most. But, meeting and enjoying new people during my travels have mostly been a very worthwhile experience.

I've not met anyone while riding the train that I've ever seen again, except OBS. I did meet an interesting woman from Montana riding the Empire Builder last year and she asked me if I was on Facebook. I added her once I got home and we do interact on occasion. I do have a couple people who I have on my friends list from the Empire Builder facebook page and hope to meet them someday and maybe do a trip on Amtrak together.

On my latest LD trip a few weeks ago, our dining car attendant announced at dinner one of the evenings something to the effect of "come visit the diner and possibly meet new friends and if you're single maybe a future romance." I suppose that stuff can and does happen.

On the off-chance they drop me at a table and there's an attractive lady in her late 20s/early 30s (for the record, I'm 32), there's a slightly elevated chance I might say words out loud!

 

[Devil's Advocate]

I don't think it's too much to ask. As others have said, things like GPS or pictures on the phone are fine. Staring at the phone instead of talking to others at your table is not. I was surfing thru the TV channels last night, and happened on an episode of Pawn Stars. On it, Chum said "... did you get me text? You should have texted me back." The reply was "Dude, I'm sitting right next to you!" I think the world is too much into technology if machines trump people next to you!

It may be rare but it would seem we agree on something.

I enjoy technology as much as anyone. Learning it. Using it. Upgrading it. My interest in electronics has paid my bills and funded trips far and wide for nearly two decades. It's something I embrace rather than shun. It's just that there is a time and a place to use them and a time when it's best to put them away for a bit.

I don't like that it's clearly not supposed to be a two way street. People imposing some sort of "we're sitting at the same table so we have to talk or I'll be upset" is just as rude to me, as a person that does want to be left alone. I have zero interest in talking to someone I'm never going to see again while I'm trying to eat.

I've never fully understood how the big bad extrovert became some sort of vague boogeyman for a vocal minority of our forum.

The funny thing is I'm not an extrovert myself. I didn't come up with Amtrak's community seating arrangement. I'm not the sort of person who needs or desires to hear your life story or talk your ear off with mine. I'm not interested in more than a couple opening pleasantries and a few casual remarks before the food arrives. The kind of limited interaction that anyone who is not suffering from debilitating shyness should be able to handle.

Just to be clear I can understand not wanting even that much interaction. In fact there are times when I don't want to speak to anyone either, even a little bit. Those are the times when I skip the meal or eat it at my seat or in my room. I do that because it is in fact a two way street and I know in advance that there will be some minimal expectations about my behavior when I knowingly impose my presence on others.

 

[The Davy Crockett]

One time at dinner on one of the Silvers I was seated at a table with only one other individual - a "gentleman" in his 20s who had his earphones on from the time I was seated across from him until I finished dinner and left. The diner was not that busy at the time, and I thought it was poor on the LSA's part to put me at his table. I ended up enjoying the view out the window, even though it was dark outside!

 

[SubwayNut]

Alexandria Nick,

I understand what you are saying: "...zero interest in talking to someone I'm never going to see again...".

No doubt, there are many on this site that are more traveled than me. But, one of the things that has greatly surprised me in my travels is the number of people with whom I have met in a most casual way initially that has resulted in long term relationships of continuing communication, travels together, and personal visits in their homes. Many of these people I consider to be friends, good friends, in fact.

When one begins a conversation with a "stranger" in what might be considered a "captive" environment as a train, plane, or cruise ship might be considered to be, one does not know where such an event might lead.

Maybe I have been more fortunate than most. But, meeting and enjoying new people during my travels have mostly been a very worthwhile experience.

I've not met anyone while riding the train that I've ever seen again, except OBS. I did meet an interesting woman from Montana riding the Empire Builder last year and she asked me if I was on Facebook. I added her once I got home and we do interact on occasion. I do have a couple people who I have on my friends list from the Empire Builder facebook page and hope to meet them someday and maybe do a trip on Amtrak together.

On my latest LD trip a few weeks ago, our dining car attendant announced at dinner one of the evenings something to the effect of "come visit the diner and possibly meet new friends and if you're single maybe a future romance." I suppose that stuff can and does happen.

A vintage Amtrak commercial on that theme in the diner:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iygSXXdGyXY