What's the funniest story you've ever heard from a train employee?

[junebug]

I've gotten some great stories from conductors. Like the time there was a car full of boy scouts that kept running into the car in front of them and coming back giggling. Turned out there was a woman "sleeping" with her top unbuttoned so the girls were sticking out. The conductor tells her to button up. She does, and the boy scouts stopped running into the car. After awhile, the scouts started giggling and running back and forth to her car again. Turns out she unbuttoned herself again.

 

[junebug]

The next story goes like this. There was a complaint that there was a bright light coming through one of the sleeper rooms. Conductor knocks on the door, and a guy peeks through and asks what the problem is. The conductor said there's been a complaint that you have a bright light on. You know the glass in front of the curtains on the sleeper cars? Reflected in the glass, the conductor saw a naked woman and what looked like lighting for filming. Turns out there were two more naked women and a naked guy shooting a porno.

 

[Steve4031]

Two good stories. There is a book by Henry Kisor, iirc about the California Zephyr. The best stories were about people being caught in the wrong section of the California Zephyr/Desert Wind/Pioneer after Salt Lake City. Most times these people were drunk or seeking romance.

 

[Bob Dylan]

One of the Great Oldtimer LSAs on the Texas Eagle loved to tell stories about how people would show up in the Diner for Meals.

In addition to Swim Suits, including Bikinis!,my favorite was the Frequent Rider Woman of a Certain Age who would show up for Breakfast in her Robe and Pajamas with her Fuzzy Slippers and her Hair up in Curlers.

Later in the day for Lunch and Dinner she would be "Dressed to the Nines" as folks used to do when traveling was more Formal.

 

[Willbridge]

I'm not sure if it's funny or revealing, but when my dad was booking a Portland--Seaside day excursion special train for his club in the 1960's his SP&S Rwy. traffic department rep went to the accounting department to get a price quote. The accountant looked up from his work and asked "how much do you want it to cost?"

 

[MARC Rider]

The next story goes like this. There was a complaint that there was a bright light coming through one of the sleeper rooms. Conductor knocks on the door, and a guy peeks through and asks what the problem is. The conductor said there's been a complaint that you have a bright light on. You know the glass in front of the curtains on the sleeper cars? Reflected in the glass, the conductor saw a naked woman and what looked like lighting for filming. Turns out there were two more naked women and a naked guy shooting a porno.

Did the conductor tell you the name of the, ahem, "adult film" they were shooting? We could add it to the thread about "movies featuring trains."

 

[JayPea]

Not a story I heard from an employee per se, but one I heard with my own ears: a young woman was in an argument with the lounge attendant on the Coast Starlight, insisting she was detraining in Albany, OR, and taking a bus to Toledo, OH, and would be there "in a couple of hours". The attendant tried to tell her she must be talking about another Toledo, but she insisted that she was going to Toledo, OH, because "there is only one Toledo". There is indeed a Toledo, OR, and it's a 2 hour bus ride from Albany. But she insisted it was Toledo, OH, she was going to. The Good Lord help us all!!