Sorcha: How about Hypnosis or some Baileys in his Coffee?? As a Million Mile Flyer and Private Pilot, I've been on many a trip with First Timers and White Knuckle Flyers and do understand that it is a Serious Phobia not to be made light of, but if hes OK once on the Plane, sounds like you have a Winner that Despite his Phobia wants to Travel with You which is Cool!
He probably knows this but does he have the same Phobia about Ground Transportation where we Kill 50,000 a year in Vehicle Accidents and Maim Many, Many More???
He took Xanax before the first flight and barely felt the effects, even though he took the maximum dosage. A couple hours into the flight, he had a shot of Jack Daniels and felt much better. He actually opened my window to look out at the salt flats in Utah while I was using the restroom. I was shocked; he hates heights.
Then he fell asleep on my shoulder until we started descending, at which point he got shaky again, but it wasn't bad. I just whispered to him that we'd landed, now we're taxiing, now we're coming up to the jetway, etc while rubbing his back (he had his head in his hands).
Since the Xanax didn't work, he skipped it for the return flight and had four shots of Jager at the airport, about 30 minutes before boarding. He was in a much better mood (not buzzed or drunk, just relaxed) and even joked with me a bit on the way to our seats. Takeoff was iffy, but he let me hold his hand that time, and he was fine up in the air once we cleared the fog bank (it was a tiiiiiny bit turbulent). I talked him through that too. We forgot to order him more alcohol while in-flight, though, which I think accounts for his (silent) panic attack during the landing at O'Hare. That really scared me; I've never seen him that panicked and shaky. I felt awful for him. He said it felt like the plane was shaking and then sliding all over on the ground, but it was one of the smoothest landings I've ever experienced. I told him that since he'd closed his eyes, he was feeling everything instead of seeing it. We came in perfectly level, and I barely felt the wheels touch the ground.
I think he might fly again, now that we know how to handle it (and how much to drink
) He won't be
happy about it, but he realizes it's a necessary evil if we want to see my family for Christmas or visit his family in Florida once we move to CA. He refuses to see a doctor and doesn't believe in hypnosis. I don't really mind that he'd rather use Dr. Jack Daniels and Professor Jager to help him through, as long as he isn't too drunk to get on the plane. Whatever keeps him breathing normally is fine by me.
I LOVE flying, so it was really sad to see him so freaked out about it. I'm one of those people who's super calm about it. They could be duct-taping the wing on the plane, and I'd just be like, "Meh, whatever. Hope we aren't delayed."