worried about eating with others...

[chakk]

You've already got ready-made questions that make chit-chat easy.
Where ya from? Where ya going?

If you ask those questions of someone at a diner counter, they might think you're a stalker. However, everyone on a train is from somewhere and trying to get somewhere.

Just don't ask them like Bob Sweet did: "Do you go all the way? (to Chicago)"

 

[zogburr]

If not in a talkative mood, how do you avoid eye contact with a stranger sitting right across from you? I would much prefer that they allow my wife to sit across the table from me. I know, they don't allow that. It must be a stranger.

 

[TVRM610]

A lot of this "dread" has to do with my job, since I make small talk and niceties on the phone all day. When I'm on vacation, I want to be able to avoid conversation with strangers. It's my quiet time.

I realize that it is indeed your right.. but I can't imagine feeling this way. I mean we are talking about 1 hour or so on a long distance train ride. I work a customer service job and totally understand the "personality" that you can turn on or off and indeed right after work I sometimes don't want to chat much even with friends.. but on a long distance train you dread chatting with another human being for an hour over a meal?

I really don't mean this negative.. I'm just trying to wrap my head around the idea. ha.

It should be noted that if you eat at odd times (early or late) it is possible to score a private table. There is of course no guarantee, but I've eaten many meals by myself in Amtrak dining cars. Most of the time it's a late breakfast or lunch. But there have been a couple times when I've sat by myself at dinner times, but always when there was an unusually early or late call (an example... the 4:30/5:00 call on the Crescent before DC, or the 8:30 PM call on the Crescent after departing Atlanta - these are both times I sat by myself at dinner).

I just thought I'd throw that out there.. it depends on the load, the LSA, and of course just plain luck. I'd like to think my attitude towards the staff and gracious tipping helps me out there from time to time. Insulting the food and service will generally not win you any favors in any dining establishment. ha.

 

[the_traveler]

If not in a talkative mood, how do you avoid eye contact with a stranger sitting right across from you?

Look down at your plate, or talk with your wife sitting next to you? :blush:

 

[SarahZ]

A lot of this "dread" has to do with my job, since I make small talk and niceties on the phone all day. When I'm on vacation, I want to be able to avoid conversation with strangers. It's my quiet time.

I realize that it is indeed your right.. but I can't imagine feeling this way. I mean we are talking about 1 hour or so on a long distance train ride. I work a customer service job and totally understand the "personality" that you can turn on or off and indeed right after work I sometimes don't want to chat much even with friends.. but on a long distance train you dread chatting with another human being for an hour over a meal?

Yup. Remember that I am also shy and abhor small talk like most introverts. An hour is an eternity to me when I'm dying to escape back to my room where I don't have to put on a mask and pretend I enjoy small talk.

My job is very difficult for me, and I dread going into work every day because I have to talk to people all day. Sometimes I get yelled at, no matter how nice and helpful I am, so it just makes my introversion even worse. If I were a "normal" person, that hour at dinner wouldn't feel like that, even if I did work with customers all day. But, I'm not normal.

Once we move to a bigger city with more job options, I won't have to work in customer service anymore. I'd be much happier if I could go back to wearing headphones while proofreading/writing, which is what I did for several years before I got laid-off and ended up in a call center. It's not that I hate people; I just don't like talking to them in person if I don't know them. I'm perfectly fine with online conversations. For some reason, that doesn't bother me as much.

 

[the_traveler]

As I said previously, I am very shy and an introvert, but almost all my jobs have been in public contact positions. This includes a 15 year career with the IRS - including 8 years as a tax auditor! You can't get much more public than that!

 

[Tracktwentynine]

I've had a few bad experiences, but almost all of my tablemates have been fine or interesting.

You will most likely meet some people just like yourself. New to train travel, maybe even apprehensive about community seating at dinner.

Just make polite conversation. Ask where they're going, where they started, is it their first time on the train? Yes? Well me too. What do you think so far?

In the case that you meet someone who is unpleasant, just learn how to deflect. Here's an (extreme) example:

Unpleasant Person: You know, I really can't stand the President. He's trying to take our guns. And force us to buy health insurance. I heard he was born in Kenya. Who did you vote for?

You: You know, I've always thought the ballot box was a private thing. Where did you say you were from?

Unpleasant Person: Missouri.

You: Oh really? I was in Saint Louis once, god, it must have been 10 years ago. I really liked the park where the Arch is. What's it called?

Unpleasant Person: I don't know. I'm from Kansas City.

You: Interesting. My husband and I are planning to visit there sometime soon. His sister just took a job out there. What would you recommend for us to do if we visit town? Any good restaurants we absolutely shouldn't miss?

Unpleasant Person: Actually, yes. There's this nice place down by Country Club Plaza. Do you like barbeque? Because we make it better than anyone else.

You: Well, I don't know about that. I hear they do a pretty good job down in Memphis. But I'll be sure to give it a try!

However, it's extremely unlikely you'll meet anyone like that. Most people have some "home training", as my mom would say. They know you're not supposed to make people uncomfortable or talk about controversial topics.

Talk about the train trip. Or the scenery. Talk about things you might want to do.

I was on the Coast Starlight several years ago on my first trip to the west coast. My seatmate was headed home to Portland, where I was visiting. I asked her if there were any neat things to do. She told me to climb Mount Tabor. It's a dormant volcano near Downtown. I took her advice and hiked to the top, and was treated to an amazing view of the city and the sunset. Something I never would have seen if I hadn't struck up a conversation.

Don't think of your tablemates as a curse. Think of them as an opportunity.

 

[roomette]

I can't stand the President either.

 

[Skim]

It's refreshing to see more people on this board come out as introverts who aren't in love with the dining car socialization. I prefer to spend my travel time reading and have most of my meals in the cafe car. Two weeks ago I had my first dining car experience, traveling alone on the SWC. The people seated with me were pleasant overall, though one seemed taken aback by my disinterest in small talk and tried to pump me with more questions; he came off as disturbed in reaction to my social awkwardness. He seemed just as disturbed when I began talking about the only thing I found remotely relevant: facts and figures about Amtrak and the SWC.

After that, it was back to the cafe car.

 

[D.P. Roberts]

It's refreshing to see more people on this board come out as introverts who aren't in love with the dining car socialization. I prefer to spend my travel time reading and have most of my meals in the cafe car. Two weeks ago I had my first dining car experience, traveling alone on the SWC. The people seated with me were pleasant overall, though one seemed taken aback by my disinterest in small talk and tried to pump me with more questions; he came off as disturbed in reaction to my social awkwardness. He seemed just as disturbed when I began talking about the only thing I found remotely relevant: facts and figures about Amtrak and the SWC.
After that, it was back to the cafe car.

We live in a world that is run by extroverts (because they are noisy and bossy and prefer to take control of things). If you don't enjoy making meaningless small talk with strangers whom you'll never see again, then there's something wrong with you...

There's nothing I'd like to change more about Amtrak travel than to get rid of community seating. Yes, I CAN make small talk. After mowing the lawn, I CAN organize all the grass clippings by size. I just don't see the point in either of these activities.

So I'm with the OP, Sorcha, Skim, and others. My most pleasant Amtrak meals, honestly, have been with other introverts - hopefully, OP, you'll encounter others & not have to make meaningless chat!

 

[MooGooGaiPan]

I can do the small talk when needed, but I agree that most people aren't interesting enough to make it worthwhile.

I remember when I'd get on a plane, maybe the seventies, and the person next to me would want to talk. Not any more. Who says there's been no progress?

But what I would hate most is to get spittle in my food, a risk when strangers are talking up a storm sitting opposite you. And I heard that a lot of foamers ride the rails (lame joke).

 

[oregon pioneer]

...when I began talking about the only thing I found remotely relevant: facts and figures about Amtrak and the SWC.

Ha, ha, I would be most of the folks on this discussion board, introverted or not, would be drawn into an animated conversation with you on that topic! Just the luck of the draw, I guess. I've met a few AUers on the trains, but never gotten to sit with one at mealtime.

 

[greatcats]

I have been on the Southwest Chief all day from Williams Junction and have had pleasant dining companions. Dinner was with a family i met in the lounge car and we agreed to meet for dinner, a group of three, the parents and threir daughter about to graduate from colleger. As I write this, we are bumping along west of Garden City. This little story I have told before on this forum, but it ended up being so funny it bears retelling. In 1986 I was on the Canadian enroute to Vancouver on the CP route. Now these people were my dining companion nightmares. Heading west across Ontario at lunch, I was seated with a senior couple from that province. The man was a crotchety old grouch and the wife was a magpie who spouted gibberish. They really were awful and I did not want to encounter them again. Arriving in Vancouver a few days later, I got in a cab and was joined by a lady passenger who I ahd conversed with during the trip. SH e was convulsed with laughter when she related that the abovementioned coupled had detrained the previous afternoon in Calgary and the grouchy old man announced to a carful of people that the wife had not had *** with him in forty years! The look on the wife's face appeared that a serious crime was about to occur.

 

[the Other Mike]

Whatever you do, DO NOT ORDER THE CHICKEN DINNER.

Seems there are some Amtrak riders who think it's one of the best meals they have EVER eaten and might start eating off your plate.

Yes, I'm an *** but I won't eat your chicken dinner, I'll be in my room drinking Bomabay Sapphire martinies with olives and fish

 

[TimSpencer]

I can do the small talk when needed, but I agree that most people aren't interesting enough to make it worthwhile.
I remember when I'd get on a plane, maybe the seventies, and the person next to me would want to talk. Not any more. Who says there's been no progress?

But what I would hate most is to get spittle in my food, a risk when strangers are talking up a storm sitting opposite you. And I heard that a lot of foamers ride the rails (lame joke).

I once sat with a couple on an Amtrak train. They were nice enough, but so insanely boring that I felt like ordering a whole bottle of Vodka.

(perhaps that's why Russians drink so much of it on the Trans-Siberian railroad? )

On the second meal, I sat across from a single lady who started telling me about her ex-husband before I had a chance to open my mouth...

I said "my English no very good... I speak vey-ree liddle bit" (it helps that I can speak some Latvian... enough to pretend)

 

[the Other Mike]

On the second meal, I sat across from a single lady who started telling me about her ex-husband before I had a chance to open my mouth...I said "my English no very good... I speak vey-ree liddle bit"

BAHAHA, thats even better than MY ..." did you hear that ? ".....yea, THAT, there it is again......YOU don't hear THAT, what medications are YOU on ?

 

[roomette]

When asked what I do for a living, I always take the opportunity to have some fun and enhance my acting skill-set.

Heart Surgeon is a favorite. Communications Director for a Presidential campaign is a close second. However, FBI Agent inspires the most moronic questions from table mates.

It's great fun and as a result I never believe anything anyone says to me across a dining car table.

 

[train person]

Worse dining companion? Some fool on the CZ who had just come back from Iraq installing air conditioning units for some military base and thought 'everyone' in Iraq was a card carrying member of Al Qaida and the best way to deal with it was kill every single person in the country.

Best dining companion? A Pamela Anderson lookalike (in every respect..... ) who got on the EB in Minneapolis and had never been on a train in her 40 years on the planet and had lots of questions which were a deep and joyful pleasure to answer.

 

[AmtrakBlue]

I guess if I ever get dining companions I don't like, I can say my HA batteries just died & my spares are in my room. But then I'd have to make sure I don't hear the SA/LSA when they come to the table. ;p

 

[SarahZ]

DA has a great point. I can make small talk, and I'm really good at it, but it doesn't mean I like it. It's right up there with going to the gym, writing papers, and the dentist.

The worst was when some older gentleman kept going on and on about Obamacare and then asked us about our retirement savings and 401Ks. He went even further, asking us if/when we plan to get married and how many children we plan to have. I kept trying to change the subject, but he'd push it right back to that. It was incredibly awkward. We skipped dessert because we couldn't wait to get away. What happened to religion, politics, and money being impolite dinner topics? That's nobody's business.

I'll toss marriage and kids into that list too. I don't mind, "Are you married? Do you have any kids?" because that's just small talk, but don't push when I say, "No, we aren't married, and we don't plan to have children." He kept telling us to get married in Vegas (awkward - we aren't even engaged) and kept asking why we don't want kids, forcing me to say, "Because I can't." I thought that would shut him up and make him feel bad, but then he went on and on about adoption and IVF. I should have just gotten up and left, now that I look back on it.

 

[oregon pioneer]

That's nobody's business.
I'll toss marriage and kids into that list too. I don't mind, "Are you married? Do you have any kids?" because that's just small talk, but don't push when I say, "No, we aren't married, and we don't plan to have children."

LOL, Sorcha, guess I've just been lucky not to have prying a**es across the table from me like that. I'd have let him have my own real answer, which is: "I checked the supply of human beings on the planet, and I found it was adequate so I didn't feel like I needed to add to it!" Each of us has our own reasons, and they are indeed our business, nobody else's. You were very tactful if you didn't let him have an earful. I tend to stick with the weather and travels, unless I find a soul-mate I want to talk issues with over the wine, like on the last trip.

P.S. I am lucky to be old enough that people just assume I have grandkids in the wings somewhere, and I rarely need to correct the assumptions.

 

[TraneMan]

I am a shy person myself, and I work retail andI like my quiet time when I can get it.. But when it's time for the dinning car, I am enjoying a chat with our table mates. Asking where they are going .. ect.. and fill in tips for first time riders.

Best table mates I had was 2 years ago on the Empire Builder with a couple from England!

 

[Train Rider]

We skipped dessert because we couldn't wait to get away.

If the conversation is going well, we eat dessert at the table, if it is not, then we take our desserts to go.

 

[Devil's Advocate]

Unpleasant Person: You know, I really can't stand the President. He's trying to take our guns. And force us to buy health insurance. I heard he was born in Kenya. Who did you vote for?

Me: I voted for the Kenyan because he only hated 42% of America while the "real" American hated 47%.

We live in a world that is run by extroverts (because they are noisy and bossy and prefer to take control of things).

We live in a democracy that requires speaking up to be heard. It's a minor detail that seems to be lost on many.

Whatever you do, DO NOT ORDER THE CHICKEN DINNER.

I thought it was the fish you weren't supposed to order?


Hendricks is twice as good as Sapphire any day of the week.

 

[zepherdude]

Hey Devils Advocate! Thanks for posting Airplane. After all these years, the movie is still a gut buster! I love it when they all line up to beat the snot out of the hysterical woman!